Friday, March 10, 2017
12 Compelling Arguments to Never Give Another Blow Job - WEAKEST ARTICLE EVER WRITTEN
1. Deep within your heart ... you know you can get oral without giving it. Whoever started the rumor that oral sex is an act of reciprocity was probably a dude, and he was definitely lying. If a dude won't go down on you, dump him. If a dude refuses to go down on you unless you return the favor, dump him. A truly great man will go down on you forever and never expect a thing. Find you that man.
Counter arguments; Ever heard of prostitution ? Girls do blowjobs because they are paid for.... Ever heard of Porn ? Girls give blowjobs because they are paid for. Ever heard of random One Night or one evening flings or one dates or what ever situation where you will nver see the guy but hottdamn he has a face you wanna scream and beg you to either stop or keep going but just end his mysery because it's damn good and you just adore the sadistic pleasure of torturing him through a most venerated blowjob ? ^-^
2. You're so sleepy! Wow, what a yawn that was. He probably saw the yawn and thought, "Hmm I bet my penis would fit in there!" But you are just too tired for that right now, and in fact, you may be too tired for that forever.
Counter arguments; WHY the hell would you even THINK of a goddamn blowbjob when you're tired ? Like hello! Go to foken bed and sleep! do a blowjob next morning in the shower! If you have yawned... I bet that ANY sort of sex is out of question so specifically focusing on a blowjob is a cheap desperate pretext to get this list have one more bullet. F like FAILED. Your argument is cheaper than cum.
3. In this day and age, refusing to go down on a dude is practically part of the #resistance. Look, women have it hard enough as it is. Feminist acts come in all shapes and sizes. What doesn't come in all shapes in sizes is your partner's dick, because you won't be going down on him.
Counterargument; Ever heard of BASIC Respect ? If the guy doesn't respect you he doesn't deserve you and the blowjob CHEAPENS YOU for giving in. If you base yourself, your self worth and your value on the amount of blowjobs you THINK you owe to what evermen.... Omg are you living in a sex slave situation ? Like literally ? Because YOU HAVE THE GODDAMN POWER TO SAY NO AND NO BE FIRED, OR NOT BE KILLED. Oh you will be rejected by ONE man ? is he God incarnate ? If ONE guy rejects you on the sole basis of a blowjob refusal, he literally has ZERO respect and value for you and if you value him more than yourself - you have some messed up self-esteem issues darling.
4. You work so hard all day long doing your actual job. Why on earth would you want to come home and deal with this exhausting side hustle (his penis in your mouth) when you already work so hard at your actual job all day?
Counter argument; How about this ? You come after a long day at work, HE cooks for you, washes the dishes, offers you a cunnilungus on the sofa and revigorated by good food and a relaxing night, and aroused and massively turned on by his skills, you Naturally feel like why not treat the guy with a lil something before you just go full blown annoy the neighbours in Dolby Digital System Surround. Again, using This specific context is cheap. What if it's Sunday morning, with a gorgeous soft pale pastel golden light flooding in the bedroom, you look at his sleeping face and you just wanna make him scream and moan with pleasure. Why did you specifically focus on a negative aspect to justify your bullet point ? Cheap - cheap - Fail.
5. Men are already having way too many orgasms anyway. The orgasm gap is real, folks, and if you're a straight woman who's having sex with a straight dude, just know (and I'm sorry!) that you're having far fewer orgasms than your partner. Closing the orgasm gap starts with you, honey, and the way it starts is with a lack of blow jobs.
Counter argument; You gotta me fucking kidding me. Have you even googled the matter ? Female orgasm is stronger and women are capable of having multiple consecutive orgasms. Men can have that one and have to wait to relax and be ready again while females can have one back to back. Fake argument, fail.
6. You can't have deep and meaningful conversations with a penis in your mouth! Sure, sexual intimacy is an important part of a healthy relationship, but so is emotional intimacy, accomplished via heartfelt chats.
Counter argument; WHO on the planet earth would have a motherfucking deep and meaningful conversation during SEX ??? From what planet have you landed ?? During sex, partners usually either dirty talk and call each other the worse slang available, use the dirtiest language available, scream, moan, gasp, or if older married couple just think about laundry, cooking, dropping the kids at the piano ballet lesson while trying to enjoy the performance of their partner.
7. Darn! You would, but you just brushed your teeth and don't really want to put anything else in your mouth. If only he'd asked just three minutes earlier! Shucks!
Counter argument; Does this apply to when you just brushed your teeth but have a sudden craving for a snack and indulge yourself and fuck the teeth, you'll just brush again and feel and enjoy that sweet minty flavour again in your mouth. Cheap ass excuse; Fail.
8. It would be way more fun for both of you to just have penetrative sex. I've yet to see a compelling argument that proves a crude, bodily instrument such as the penis can tell the difference between the inside of a mouth and the inside of a vagina. Skip the blow job and go straight to sex — something you can both enjoy.
Counter argument; This applies to females too then, we MUST most definitely enjoy being rammed by a penis much more than being eaten out, our clitoris stimulated by a soft damp tongue and lips doing soft teasing sucking and circular motions.... yes yes obviously ... we need our faces meet with our partners because we need to have a deep and meaningful conversation about world peace and women's rights while we are having sex thursday evening.
9. Honestly, has he really earned it? Do you know what was a great rewards system? The chore chart my family had, where I won stars to earn my allowance each week. How many stars are on your boyfriend's chore chart? Surely not enough for a blow job.
Counter argument; If you love your guy truly maddly deeply, YES he has earned his damn blowjob and if he likes you the same, you have earned your cunnilungs or your doggy on the sofa, or what ever the hell you prefer to be treated with by him. It's called Being mutually passionate about the other and giving them something special and enjoyable because - you know what - WE ACTUALLY FUCKING LOVE OUR PARTNER. Ever heard of that ?
10. You're saving this for an extra special, TBD occasion. Blow jobs are kind of like an ~extra-fancy~ bottle of wine that you don't want to open until the perfect moment. When will that perfect moment be? Who's to say! But it's certainly not now (and TBH, it's probably not ever).
Counter argument; or they can be the cheapest most basic everyday handshake. Who has decided that blowjobs are that special ? Give an expensive bottle of champagne to a liquor enthousiast and he'll drain that bubbly shit down the sink and apologize for the accident. Blowjobs are special ? Darling, we are in 2017! Blowjobs are like shaking hands and kissing. Anal is the special thing today. Get an update honey!
11. You don't want premature lip wrinkles. Not that there's any proof that sucking on a penis will cause your the skin around your mouth to wrinkle, but it seems believable enough, right?
Counter argument; Because using all those chemically produced lip products isn't any damaging for the lips ? And cosmetics are sold like the best fucking thing on the planet. If you think your shiny lip gloss, your liquid matte or your velvetine is not helping your lips age and wrinkle ... in what world do you live in ? What if sucking on a straw, you know your fruit juice at Starbucks which costs like 10 bucks, what if that is straining your lips ? We have no scientific evidence, but it might as well be the case.
12. Look, penises can be icky. All I'm saying is if the dude can't ever wash his sheets or comb his hair, odd are he's not doing routine hygiene maintenance on his nether regions.
Counter argument; men today, again i repeat, 2017, are pretty damn self aware and conscious and if they can use facial skin care and make up to enhance themselves and follow fashion, i'm pretty damn sure they can wash themselves and be perfumed down there!
Weakest article I have read in a while. I assume that it was written on the go in some public transport, a bus, a metro, and she based her argumentation based off the random dudes she just saw sitting across from her because if You Genuinely Love Your man, these are NON issues and at best, a blowjob will become your obsession towards your guy and you want to hear him moan and groan and ask for more. Anyone else, Why would they even THINK they are entitled for such a thing ? But then again, the whole article was written in the general sense and direction of a couple - meaning the partners love each other.