Showing posts with label Tom Hiddleston. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tom Hiddleston. Show all posts

Saturday, March 02, 2013

Love my tat

Just because. 

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Two weeks old

My tat is already 2 weeks old and healing like a pro!


uncensored version on my tumblr - i won't give a direct link - you can scroll down though. 
http://ailimeworld.tumblr.com/
  

Thursday, January 31, 2013

dream of january the 30th - morning 31st 2013

Dream of january the 30th 2013


1 –

2 – Pictures of Tom wearing a black winter coat but Canadian Olympic winter themed – it had the maple leaf logo with the 5 rings. He was still in Africa though and on one photo he had his hair cut and styled in many … thicker spikes like I seen some Black-American men who have braided hair – except Tom’s was too short to be braided so he only had the separation into those patches and the pointy ends – he was both adorable and amusing with that style.

Dream of January 31st morning 2013

3 – I was in that small classroom where I first met Bill Hazledine, we were getting ready to leave, class was over and we were leaving for the week end or Christmas vacations. I remember Cindy from college was near me and two or three other college girl friends. I was packing away, telling about my plans going to the mountain if it snowed, it would be even more interesting. Cindy had dropped her red mitts (Canadian winter Olympic game ones so I bent down to fetch them for her). Our teacher was a gorgeous young man in his early 30’s, short black hair, pale skin, sea blue eyes, tall and lean. He was half sorting and putting away his class notes and half observing us and listening to our conversation. I turned around and shared my plans, almost inviting him to join me, if he had no plans for that day.

We ended up in my kitchen, my mom and sister were there too. I had to go to the bathroom, so I went but as I closed the door, a small police car the size of a really miniature toy sneaked through the space between the door and the floor and started flying and buzzing around the towels on the wall in front of me as a mosquito who wanted my attention. I smiled, amused, knowing it was my teacher’s trick. He was in the kitchen with me earlier on and he must have followed me without me noticing. I opened the door and there he was, on his knees in the small corridor, playing with a small police car which he pushed and pulled back to release it, and the car would go fast on it’s own, forward towards me. I smiled even more amused, maybe even chuckled or giggled at it. He looked at me, his smile was so bright and happy. He got up and told me he had another one if I wanted to play with him. The other one was an ambulance truck. He gave me the police car and I examined it. There were numbers on the top (memo written on my twitter this morning so as to not forget it – 236-9 I think… ) there were 2 more digits but I don’t remember them. Next, on the roof of the car was the yellow plastic bumped molded figure of a shorter older police officer standing on a small chair to reach his younger taller colleague and the oldest held a bat or a club to bit the younger – in a comical way but, I didn’t agree with it.

My teacher said something and I think it was an invitation to the mountain or accepting my invitation, but it had a sense of us being together after and I imagined super fast how it would end; us making love and as soon as that idea hit me, my mind was racing to cancel or get out of the possibility. I was already in love with another man and I couldn’t think of cheating on him. I knew the other man was Tom.



Sunday, December 23, 2012

Of Chocolate Cakes and Apple Pies

I was completely lost in my bubble, sitting on the couch, reading Mona Lisa Overdrive when his vague shadowy appearance knelt before me, but that was not enough to disrupt my attention and a small polite cough finally dragged back in the same reality as his.

By the tragic and concerned expression on his face, I was ready to face the worse news possible.

He signed. I tensed.

"I have bad news."
"Try me."

He took a long serious look at me and took my hands in his, locking his eyes in mine.

"There is no wi-fi in the cabin, in the woods."

I remained quite quiet, stunned and surprised, but not yet fully realizing the minimalistic gravity of the situation, and the greater prank oriented flavor of his confession. I remained in silence for a moment more, but nothing was added. There he remained, holding his tragic expression, until a single spark glimmered in his eyes and the faint shadow of a smile passed on the corner of his lips.

"Tom! You... Oh you! ... Actor!"

He burst into the most delightful jovial laughter as I fell on him, or in his arms, trying, without really trying to hammer his chest with my tiny fists.

"You really fooled me! I was ready for ...
"The End of the World ?"
"Well... something more serious... tragic?"
"No Internet for two whole weeks, while you are stuck with me and my family in a wooden house in the middle of winter-wonderland nowhere in the Great Canadian Wilderness. Isn't that tragic enough? No Facebook, no Twitter, no blogging, no photo sharing, no passionate crusades..."
"I would spend Christmas in a cave in Antarctica with you if you'd ask me!"
"I can only imagine the possibilities."

I slid on the floor, trapped in his arms again, and once more, more than happy to be lost in the open waters of his passionate embrace. As he barely slid a hand under my pullover, my body answered immediately to the invitation.

"You know... you are not obliged to ..." He vaguely tried to speak between passionate deeply contradictory kisses. "... each time ... I start..."
"You are basically ... telling me that ... it's not because a chocolate cake is put in front of me that I am obliged to eat it. To which I answer : Why would I not?"
"I am a chocolate cake for you."
"A Black Forest chocolate cake. The best."
"Chocolate cakes tend to induce women into unwanted gain of pounds."
"Not gaining a single pound devouring you!"

He didn't continue the conversation by strategically moving his lips down my neck, while a hand openly made his way up my opposite side, almost a subtle, silent, invitation to ponder the topic at hand.

"Uhm.. say..."
"Mmhhm...."He drew a burning hot and humid trail in the curve of my neck and shoulder, making me shiver and giggle in delight as the hand finally reached the destination and decided to take a rest, atop a soft hill he knew all too well. 
"Why are we having this conversation?"

He half stopped his enterprise and rested half his body on his free elbow, keeping his other hand where it lay, randomly stroking my chest, as a small reminder that things were far from over, just yet.

"You know I am working on Manon Lescaut at the moment, right?"

I nodded my agreement.

"The French term "engrosser" came into topic yesterday and that incredible French actress ... Jeanne ... she was very much in the mood of her character and asked me - something about my plans of "getting you fat." He chuckled and moved closer to my ear to whisper. "She said that I should start working the dough..."

And working he indeed started, as he passionately stirred his tongue with mine, a hand keeping the rest of the material warm and soft.

"So, what does... a chocolate cake and a...how do you see yourself in this great astrology of the baked pastries?"
"I'm most probably an apple pie."
"So, what is the sum of a chocolate cake and an apple pie?"

I took a moment to ponder, trying as best as I could to contain the uncontrollable laughter that was about to take me over.

"I guess that a chocolate pie with traces of apple and accents of cinnamon wouldn't a bad culinary experiment..."
"The only way to know is to try, right?"

I didn't reply to that, his mouth was already agreeing to my answer as his tongue swirled mine into the elaboration of the finer details.

Monday, December 17, 2012

So Tom - tell me about your private DVD collection!


  1. Hey guys answer how your day was in a comment I wanna know! Anywhoo I hope you enjoy the story!:)

    Tom was right. As soon as you grab the newspaper the next morning, you see YOUR face plastered on it. "Who's the mystery girl, Tom?" the caption reads. You sigh.
    "Was I right?" Tom asks as he walks into the kitchen.
    "Yep. Now everyone in London is going to know my face."
    "Oh maybe not everyone. Just

    99.9 percent." he teases.
    You smile and go to the fridge.
    "Please tell me you have waffles." you say. "Yes!!" you exclaim when you find a box.
    "I had strawberries and bananas of you want to put some on top."
    "Yumm. Wait, British people eat that?"
    Tom throws his head back and laughs loudly.
    "Well I'm sorry! It's been a long week for me!" you protest.
    "Oh that made my day!"
    "Tom! Oh Tom!" someone calls. You hear the door open to the penthouse.
    "Great." Tom sighs.
    You take a double take when you see what walks trough the doorway into the kitchen. Before you stands a women dressed in pink and with pink and blue highlights in her brown hair.
    "Oh hello." she says. "You must be the mystery girl."
    "Brilla meet y/n."
    "Hi." you say awkwardly. Brilla? You think to yourself.
    "Hello." she says coldly. Then she looks to Tom. "Did you forget about the photo shoot?"
    "That's today?!"
    "Yes, that's today. As in twenty minutes today."
    Tom looks at you. "I'm sorry. I completely forgot."
    "It's cool. I can call a cab and go back to my hotel."
    "No I don't want you going back there. You can stay here until one when I get back."
    "Yes mother." you say teasingly.
    "Five minutes, Tom." Brilla says.
    "Okay I'll be right down." He looks at you as soon as she leaves. "I'm sorry. I completely forgot."
    "Oh stop it. It's fine. I'm a big girl now."
    "Okay. You're welcome to anything. I have a credit card on my desk so go ahead and order take out of you want."
    You smile. "You should go before Brilla gets mad."
    "Goodbye." before you see it coming, Tom kisses you lightly on the lips then leaves.
    "Oh my gosh....."

    Hope you like it! Don't forget, I wanna know bout your day -Lindsay:)
    Like · ·

Sunday, December 09, 2012

Autograph Poachers

" This may sound rude and unfair, but please hear me out:

Today I was in London for the Independent British Film Festival, and I arrived 8 hours early, super excited to see both Tom Hiddleston and Cillian Murphy. Now there already a handful of autograph hunters there (People who get celebrities autographs and just sell them for the money) which wasn’t surprising. However, when the event eventually began 8 hours later, events took a turn for the worse.

Now the security at the event… left a lot to be desired so to speak. However, the fans stayed behind the designated barriers to give the celebrities space. But the autograph hunters decided to fuck the barriers, waltz right onto the red carpet, and quite literally mob every single celebrity until they gave them as many autographs as they needed.

This obviously took up a lot of their time, meaning that real fans such as myself weren’t able to get any signatures. I politely asked them to move behind the barriers, as myself and my friends had been waiting for much longer than them (5 hours longer) and so we wanted some autographs too. Their response?

“Oh yeah, you must be pretty gutted right?”

I nodded in reply.

To which the douchebag replied with “Too bad. Your problem.”

Excuse me?

I was fuming. I was so angry. However I comforted myself with the thought that Tom Hiddleston was coming, and he always looked out for his fans.

However, as soon as he turned up, ALL of the autograph hunters (and there was A LOT) swamped him and didn’t let him move at all. I heard Tom say on several occasions “Please move, take a step back, I can’t move around!”

At first he looked pissed, but then he just looked upset.

They wouldn’t stop. They just kept handing him picture after picture, demanding he signed it and refusing to move until he did. This meant that fans such as myself couldn’t get anywhere near him, and so struggled to get an autograph, if anything!

We all chose to keep our distance anyway. He looked incredibly upset, so we didn’t want to upset him any more.

He eventually forced his way through after a good 20 minutes, running into the building. He had a look on his face that almost made my heart split in two.

This also caused such a mess that Cillian Murphy (the one who I was looking forward most to seeing) had to go in the back way, so I never got the opportunity to even see him, let alone get his autograph. I was so upset I was brought nearly to tears.

So please, don’t buy his signature from online stores. They’re quite often obtained through mean, rude and despicable ways.

Thank you for your time. I just don’t want Tom to experience something as horrible as this again. Please signal boost if you can."

source : http://elzahchan.tumblr.com/post/37583236850/please-dont-buy-toms-signature-from-online-stores

other speaking sources, because an image is worth a thousand words ;
http://hiddlesbowlofsoup.tumblr.com/post/37590219587/tom-hiddleston-surrounded-by-autograph-hounds


My Own Personal Thoughts.

The first thing that comes to mind is the heart wreck I feel  upon reading the accounts of this. I feel bad for Tom and I feel bad for the fans with the same equal hurt.

I feel bad for Tom because he is fresh in the industry and genuinely likes the interaction with his fans and is naturally inclined to be generous of his time and is always signing as much autographs and take as much pictures with the fans as his time/schedule allows him. This is the most direct and irrespectful way of ripping him off from that beautiful thing he is building with his fans. The sole idea of selling off those autographs for personal profit makes the whole thing dirty at the same level as prostitution.

I feel bad for the fans because They stand there long hours, they respect their idols and favorite celebrities, they respect the boundaries set for each and everyone's safety and well being, they actually participate in an exchange of appreciation of the other party's service or artifact (in this case the act of signing an autograph). Tom appreciates his loyal devoted fans and the fans appreciate Tom - it's all done in respect of each other and it can be the most wonderful thing with this man!

I feel bad for Tom because this surely has affected him for the evening and will surely break the idealistic image he had of his career as an emerging actor. This stains the whole thrill of being appreciated for his hard work. It's like having a fine dessert in front of him and some random idiot takes out a big chunk; it's just inconsiderate and rude. Ill mannered being too faint of an expression.

I feel bad for the fans because they feel bad for their fave actor. They / and we have compassion and respect for our idols. We feel with them and for them, especially when sad events such as this happen. 

Having a couple thousand horny fan girls can come off as a joke and at the end of the day, most fan girls have enough common sense to respect their idol. (I say most, because there are some among the self proclaimed fans who have no shame in harassing him over tweeter as if he was their best friend, or some, even worse, who have the guts to send him angry tweets because they trusted unverified sources who promised his presence at a location where he was not scheduled to be). Bottom line is, the vast majority would protect this man as they would with their own family! So we don't take it well when others - who on top are Not even his fans - take advantage of him in such a rude and selfish manner!

Autographs, for the record, can be obtained through his agency if someone has the minimum caring decency of sending in a pre-paid postage back - which in the case of these morons wouldn't even cost 1% of the money they'd make selling the said autographed piece. And to me, it lowers the value of the said autograph if it's purchased off e bay or any other online source which is not an honest legit source. This is not import/export goods and antiques from Venice! Autographs by famous people have a very deeply personal connotation to them to the fans and if one would never part from one - one should not loose god knows what exuberant amounts of money - to get one which was obtained as legally as poachers would get an exotic animal on the black market!

Friday, December 07, 2012

A Night's Sky

“Beautiful, isn’t it.” He whispered from the above docking and hadn’t I known it was him, I
could have sworn an angel just spoke to me.

I was sitting on a cold bench, on a cold lonely deck, in a cold night, under the cold distant stars, on a boat washed by the cold night ocean wind, but none of this really mattered. Or, more accurately, mostly none of it reached me.

Above me was the infinitely peaceful night sky, glimmering with stars from far and farther away with a faint pale veil of what we mankind call the milky way. As I was sitting on the bench, on the deck, on the boat, I imagined that, had I been on a smaller boat, which would gently swing to the ocean’s waves, I could say that I was watching the universe breath above me, like a gigantic living being, or a child with starry eyes looking down at a microscopic plankton floating on a strange white object.

I heard his steps clacking at a regular yet enthusiastic pace as he quickly reduce to void the vague distance between us. I tried to keep my attention on the stars but the smile that bloomed on my lips and quickly spread like an African wild firein the savannah and didn’t take its source of origin in the stars above me, but rather, in the sheer delight of having him so close near me.

I shivered a little under the thick blanket wrapped around me and noticing it, he sneaked even closer to gently blow a long humid and burning hot breath on my cheek and neck, which he concluded with an equally suggestive kiss on the jawline and I couldn’t hold it any longer, I burst into a genuine childish giggle. Only he could do such a thing and know that somewhere deep inside secret territories, a mystic fire just got splendidly refurnished with high quality burning wood log.

“You make a little spot?”

I stood up to open my wool cape and let him in, and remembered that moment in the cottage, as I was sitting on his lap, trying to drink my tea without chocking on it. Later that evening, I had my head resting on his chest, dozing off to wonderland, as h was randomly twirling his fingers in my hair. We were almost watching a BBC documentary about the river Ganges, but I was mostly lost in the river of dreams whose tide gently rose around me. Being in his arms like that, I felt I was part of an exclusive living ecosystem, like enjoying the secret breath of a millennial old forest. I let the slow rise and fall of his chest rock me gently to slumber and the melodious female narrating voice building an easier bridge to slumber.

He gently blew air on my face, in a ticklish playful manner and I frowned, wondering about the master trickster's abilities. I opened my eyes and smiled. There he was, tenderly smiling back at me.

"Tommy?" I asked still drowsy.

His smile widened as he offered me his hand.

I hesitated, concerned about disrupting the other Tom's peace, the one in whose arms I was technically snuggled in. I rose my head, but he didn't seem to be too greatly disturbed, yet alone we aware of the presence of his doppelganger. I got up, as softly as I could, which attention to delicateness seemed to greatly amused the other Tom.

He clothed all in white and a soft almost unnoticeable soft glow seemed to gleam about him, his hair was back to short blond too, but the incredible liveliness in his eyes was proof enough it was him. That was undeniable.

He had his hand sturdy laid out, patiently waiting for me, not rushing, holding the invitation. I finally slid my hand in his at the contact of his fingers, a small gently pulsating fire enveloped, it seemed, the entirety of my being. I looked back and had a small vertigo as I observed myself still sleeping on Tom's chest, my breath slow and deep of deep sleep. Tom had a little yawn and looked down on the sleeping me. My heart fluttered as I caught the soft gleaming tenderness blooming on his lips for the instant of a smile.

Tom in white opened the door and the night outside was mesmerizing, with the tall trees like secret guardians on the guard, ready to attack any intruder that had the misfortunate idea of going too far inside secret grounds. I looked the slightest bit up and it seemed the stars had plotted to appear drastically nearer, almost touching the tree tops.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Tom in white asked me and I was short of words to share my enchantment.

He lead me a little further in the woods up ahead of us until we reached a small clearing, not the one in which we had spent the morning, but an equally charming one, even more magic, for there stood, at a few feet in frotn of us, a fire as tall as the man standing at my side, as strong and as vigorous, and certainly as vivid of beauty as irresistibly compelling.

For a moment, I wondered which fascinated me the greater; the man or the fire. I smiled as I thought that how both could burn me, in fact.

"Why are you showing me this?" I asked, fascinated.
"You haven't guessed yet, then." He answered in a riddle. "This is your love for me."

And all of a sudden he was behind me, his arms firmly around my waist, pressing me against him gently but assertively. I couldn't draw my attention away from the fire, the realization of it all seemed too absurdly impossible, woven from the thread of dreams and fairy tales.

Pas the fire, a little to the right, sod an equally tall and majestic castle of ancient stones, I knew, had seen many battles rise and even more men fall.

"The castle there, it's you, right ?" I asked in an equally low whisper.

"Mmhmm." He answered on the same tone.

We stood there a considerable moment, just watching the fire breath a steady crescendo of strong healthy flames, sometimes burping golden sparks of light. Tom kissed me on the cheek and a wave imploded inside, in the core middle, at the root of the fire and rippled in it, on all it's height and circumference, like a small nuclear ring made of fire.

"I guess that ... saying "I love you" is rendered futile in such circumstances."

Any words were rendered useless in the face of such an immensely captivating spectacle.

An unusual noise distracted me. It was as if the sound of a bird flopping his wings was muted to a bare audible minimum and then that muted sound would have been amplified to a point where it covered all other sounds around us.

I wanted to tun around to ask him if he had heard the same noise, but I realized that I couldn't. I was sitting on his lap and all I could do was to turn my head and raise my face.  The other, the real Tom, smiled at me, a vague concern shadowed his eyes for a fast volatile moment.

"You heard that?"

He ran his fingers in my hair.

"Heard what?"

I frowned a little, trying to gather thoughts which could define adequately what I was trying to sound reasonably normal, or less fantastical than they actually were.

"It sounded like an amplified muted ... muffled ... bird wing ... sort of noise ... what you'd imagine an angel's wing would sound like.... I guess.

He chuckled softly.

"I think you had a really nice dream."

"Because, this is isn't one?"

Tom stretched out as I got up to to the same. I was just about done when he put both hands on my cheeks and pressed his lips strongly against mine, in a single solid confirmation.

"No, you are not dreaming, Sleeping Beauty."



"Tom, you are sure this is not a dream?"

Under the warm blanket, he bent over and bit hard on my neck, leaving me almost grasping for air. This spot won't content itself in turning blue, and the thought made me smile, which softly exploded into a shy chuckle as those same lips were not gently covering the same spot with apologizing kisses.

Somewhere in the far away forest of my soul, a fire burped particles of light the size of tennis balls and shivered in ecstasy, as a long slow wave of pleasure erupted from the core, its wave embracing the thickness of the fire as it rose like a rogue wave to reach the top.

Somewhere past the fire, a tall castle smiled in its stone walls, as a fortress could do.











This is a small continuation, sequel, to A Small Journey Into Love. It sort of spurred in my mind one random night before I fell asleep and I decided to keep it.

Monday, December 03, 2012

Randomness of Life #2 - December 3, 2012


I just love how the randomness of this came on my facebook page! 

Friday, November 30, 2012

One amazing Friday!

It seems as if everything just unlocked all of a sudden, or as if the sun rose behind the hills, allowing me to see and enjoy the landscape.

I have had my zazzle store up and running for quite some time now, but I never gave it significant importance nor hopes.

I have been drawing Puffies since 2005, but they were most likely ignored and not taken ... well, seriously is a word far too out of reach to be even considered...

But let me start this off as it should. I have a tendency to wander off when I attempt to create introduction contexts.

Today I walked down to the nearest Staples store located inside the Marché Central to pick up printed posters which were ready for me, which I dropped off yesterday morning, got the call yesterday afternoon past 5pm, and went to pick them today.

I go there and nicely wait in line, while a gentleman was being served - printing CVs and reference letters in multiple amounts. My posters were given to me and opened before so that I can test proof them or see if i am satisfied. I nearly fell on the floor with contentment! The quality of the paper - a stronger glossy thick cardboard-ish sort of paper! in that poster format (18x24)! The ... feeling of seeing your work printed like that, looking all perfect and professional! I was squealing, I will admit it!

The posters had white boarders because in the process of resizing them - i had originally designed them 27x40inches which is a real movie poster standard format - and since the printing team was nice enough to not cut off my copyright and other texts - they printed as they could and left the white edges which the printing department asked me if I wanted off. While they did, I tried to print a set of cards I designed for deviantart.com community project, which didn't quite worked out, so I will drop them off tomorrow or Monday to be printed and sent off as soon as they are ready. So, I go back to the desk, pick up my stuff, and head out.

Staples and the Dollar Store are one next to each other and there is a bench in front of the dollar store where people sit down or sort their purchases. I saw a man there but I thought, I'll take the far out side and put away my posters. What was not my surprise when I noticed that the man was the client before me, at Staples! I do now know if he in fact waited me out or if this was random, but, he addressed me nonetheless and asked if the posters were real movie posters, to which I giggled and confessed that no, they were fake movie posters that I designed and illustrated.

I take off the elastics and show him my works, explaining that, since I don't draw humans, this is my way of doing art.

The first one top was Project Wendy, and I felt the need to generally give him a context.

"You know the movies Thor and The Avengers?"
"Yes."
"The guy who plays Loki did a sort of a sketch or something in which he was a fake delivery man, he improvised this mustache, which he called Wendy and it became a social thing on the internet. This is a silly little thing done inspired by that. And the rest is for his birthday present."

Then came Midnight in Paris (also landscape oriented) to which I precised that I hadn't seen the movie, but the title inspired me. Then the Christmas ones with my own characters which he totally loved! I shared the joke behind Ding!Dong! The Christmas bells are ringing which started off as my friend spotting 3-4 snowflakes one afternoon and my character Sybille feeling the need to knit them scarves and tuques.  Then I introduced him to Suzy Snowflake, a classic old winter holiday song and Tommy's Angels, to which he instantly recognized the Charlie's Angels reference! I was so happy! And lastly Walpurgis Night (with German title).

He congratulated me again and shared his appreciation of my work. He asked me if I was working and I said no, not at this moment, but now, with some time, I wonder if he didn't mean if I worked as a professional illustrator or publicity creator.

He shared his appreciation of my work once more and I finished wrapping my stuff, as he also left and went on his way.

When I was done, I also went in the same direction to walk back home and haha - there he was on the same street, and we met again at the corner before we crossed. I then sort of walked ahead of him and he probably went on his merry way home and me, to mine.

But the fact that a total random stranger liked my work so much! with repeated praises comforted me and reassured me in my ... desire to send these off to my Muse. I doubted a couple of times, to even finish them, then to print, then to send them, but each time, I either got a dream, or a sign - like today - that I was doing the right thing.

After I got home, and made myself a tea, and created the official Puffies page on facebook, I went to Zazzle to check my stuff and add the Christmas cards designs and what is not my surprise, as i go through the profile update procedure, to notice that I actually sold items! I know that I had sold Sybille doing sky or winter sports last year or so, and I was not expecting anything after that! But i'm thrilled to see that I also sold a men's t-shirt of Mjolnir (Thor's Hammer), Kitty Khat (the blue and purple illustrated fantasy ca), and Christmas hollies sticker :D

Today was grand! And just to know that there is someone out there wearing MY design! it's grand!

Friday, November 02, 2012

Love and finding your home

TOM TALKS- “When I fall in love with someone, then that doesn’t “just” happen… When I love someone’s character, over time I’ll see that personality, I love so much, shining through their eyes and fusing with their appearance, turning them in the most beautiful girl in the world. It’s not about appearance, it’s about someone’s beautiful, amazing, wonderful, fantastic personality, you’ll see every time you look at her. It’s about the fact that when you look in her eyes, you just feel home… You forget all your problems, all your fears, you just feel safe, you feel like you’ve finally found a place where you belong… A place you can spend an eternity, where you will spend an eternity, cause those enchanting, beautiful eyes will slow down time and make every second; looking in her beautiful eyes, right into her amazing personality, last more than a lifetime. It’s about the fact that the whole world, the whole universe just looks so much more beautiful! All of a sudden everything looks different and your heart will just start smiling. That’s what love is all about… the moment someone you only “liked” before, changes into the most aesthetical pleasing girl in the world. The moment you realize how blind you’ve been all those days, how you were living in a fake universe, never knowing that the only thing your life is all about, the only thing that keeps you smiling, was all the time right next to you.”— Tom Hiddleston (on finding love)
 
Emi replies.
No Kidding.  
Seriously. That is pretty much my quest and I nearly found it! I just need to find out if Henri has a physical living incarnation at the moment, and who happens to be. Though - I have to admit. I fear sometimes, it's a part of you. You have the sea in your eyes and the cathedral in your heart. And that is my home. 
 
 
Dear Muse, you see, that is the problem. That is why i have tried so hard to avoid you, to run away from you and what you inspire me. I have searched for home all my life, to a place, to a person to belong to, and I fear that you are far too great to be that person.  And I love you and I cannot deny that. I care for you, for your happiness, your well being; I wish to inspire you, to make you smile, to make you happy. I would be the first to play Cupid if I knew another woman would make you happy, and if I could influence the odds. Yes it sounds weird but love is like this ; you want the other's happiness to glow int heir eyes, before your own selfish needs and desires.
I have loved men that appeared in my dreams because they were that - people living in another realm where things are possible with a heart's secret sight. I could conjure up a thousand excuses, they are all valid and they all can be tossed aside by your hand. Funny isn't it? One's stone wall can be washed like a child's sandcastle. I think what frightens me the most is my own feelings for you and how far I am ready to go, to please you. It's not something I am accustomed to experience or even feel. I always stood my guard, not allowing real men to reach me. The ones I loved, never knew I had feelings. But you, you know it. The question is - have you read between the lines of the social mask to see glitter the secret honesty laying there at the pond's bottom. And I hope and I pray you didn't. I hope and pray you have read that rapidly. glancing over the lines of my confession as you would for any other fan of yours who had declared the same things - more or less. 

I see you in my dreams, almost every night. That is almost all that I need. I guess. For now. 

Tuesday, October 02, 2012

About the randomness of songs

I was working on the second part of my story today, working the cottage scene, making myself a tea and kept having Trans Siberian Orchestra's A Final Dream's lyrics in my mind "Lay your head down, and sleep on my shoulder" http://www.elyrics.net/read/t/trans,,Siberian-orchestra-lyrics/a-final-dream-lyrics.html

A couple hours later - Tom tweets his song of the day :
Song of the Day: "Let's Stay Together", by Al Green. Mmm-hmm. 

How coincidental. 

Love the randomness of life. 

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Fake Rumors leading to death threats

I don't even know from where I want to start this entry.

Fact is - the matter of the content - the content to be written is just so astonishingly stupid it saps my inspiration.

The recent whirlwind of events make me wonder about things such as - for example - how the fanship fueled credulity of some fans can be a wild fire with devastating outcomes.

Once upon a time, a few days ago, it was rumored on twitter that actor Tom Hiddleston would appear on the Thor 2 movie shooting location. By Thursday or Friday, with the  lack of photos provided by the many spies swriling around the shooting location, the said actor had a considerable amount of hate tweets and even death threats sent to him - but very much so disappointed "fans".

Now - let me scalpel open this as a doctor would open a patient's chest for a heart transplant.

1 - Twitter.
It's Not Facebook and even Facebook can be fake so - it's not because the account name is Thor2TheMovie that you have blindfold trust everything it tweets!

With the amount of fake / fan / dedicated accounts for Tom and Loki and anything in that galaxy - confusion could have happened, I agree, especially if the account was NOT FOLLOWED by the movie crew or actors. I mean don't you think it would be just NORMAL for Tom or his agent or the producer or who ever is working on the movie to FOLLOW that account ? Seriously. Just think about it.

2 - Rumors.
Do you guys know the amount of logistics it takes on a daily basis on a shooting location? There are highly sensitive and costly material to move around, to keep safe. There are hundreds of staff people to have on location. There are good reasons why there is a tight schedule and there is a reason why scenes are shot in a specific order - which accommodates a maximum of working staff people. Weather, availability of equipment, of resources, of actors, of staff members working around the actors - everything is studied down to the iota to minimize the cost of budget. A movie is not done snapping fingers! And if an actor HIMSELF wouldn't tweet about being at a specific location at a specific time - why would anyone give so much credit to an unverified source?

Furthermore, if the actor didn't tweet such info or was requested NOT TO do it for security measures for example - didn't anyone thought of that? Have you considered that? Not all fans are happy little polite and respectful ones - and the people around the actor are very well aware of this aspect about their clients - so of course everything in their power to protect the said actor is used and it's just flat out normal!

Last but not least - can movie producers make a movie without the world knowing Everything about it before it is launched in the theater rooms? I mean what's the point of knowing and seeing everything beforehand ? Don't we go to see movies in theaters for a certain experience? To discover something - to enjoy the unexpected? If Thor was shot in Siberia in the middle of the winter - would you go there just to have a chance to see Tom ? It's not because the location is somewhat easy of access that you have the right or the permission to sneak around! There are tight rules about release of information for good reasons! Why do you think contracts have certain lines about confidentiality and such and so on?

I feel like we are killing the magic - raping the magician and roasting the bunny on a camping fire!

3 - Seriously - Do you seriously consider that Tom owes you or us anything ? It's as if the fans who believed those rumors believed that Tom is like a sort of best friend who had promised to pop in for a coffee and cancelled at the last minute. Even though Tom and his fans happen to have a very nice and close relationship - he still has the right first and foremost - to his own private life with his family, his agenda, his working schedules! He doesn't owe his fans anything! Especially if he wasn't even aware of the rumors going around. He is most probably not on Twitter and Facebook all day long checking out the countless things going around about him! He is an actor! He has lines to know by heart - he has scenes to practice! That requires a few technicalities like a quiet environment WITHOUT silly stupid time wasting distractions.

4 - Death Threats. Now - YOU CANNOT CALL YOURSELF A TOM HIDDLESTON FAN IF YOU DARE just dare think anything bad about him, even less send him angry hateful tweets and death threats ? Are you for real ? Who do you THINK you are ? What about respect ? It just shows how intolerant, how foolish, how naïve and how superficial you are! Would you send a death threat to your local grocery store cashier girl because you didn't find that box of cookies which was advertised to be on special on the shelves ? No, of course you wouldn't! So why in the name of good common sense would you flame an actor you supposedly admire? Have you people considered the consequences of these stupid actions on the long run? What if security tightens around him to protect him against such wild and inconsiderate "fans". What if he won't be so generous of his time in the future? Makes me wonder how old these barbaric retards really are! Because if this is how you admire your actors, singers and public figures - I don't want to know how you dare treat your own friends, family and pets!

It's already nice of him to actually be on twitter - which allows his fans to interact with him - we should be thankful and not deteriorate the situation and his trust in the other bunch of fans who do actually care for him and his safety.

All in all - it just shows how immature and bluntly stupid some people are.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

All The Reasons I Love Tom Hiddleston

Because my last blogger entry went into the void of Cyberspace -I'll be a total bitch and unleash the uncensored version of this.

1 - He inspires me to try to act more womanly and thus accept my current female condition.
2 - Thanks to him, I understand why fruit flavoured condoms - or textured for that matter - were invented
3 - He is way to busy with his life to acknowledge my existence, thus I can happily fantasize over him without any guilt trip
4 - He looks like a doll - and I have a thing for dolls
5 - His fans can put him and his "career launching" role into the most delightfully entertaining fan art contexts - including homosexual, submission, bondage, neko (cat-man) and a couple others which totally electrify one's imagination
6 - I wouldn't giggle like a high school girl if he walked naked in front of me - I think that I would take his masculinity into a serious and natural context
7 - Oddly enough, I don't feel shy or bad or unease at the doggy style perspective - which I normally despise
8 - He passed the "sleeping test" with an A+
9 - Never met a man i want to kiss as bad as i am dying to try him
10 - What he inspired me and still does is just insanely strong! Like I said it in previous blogs, this guy is a fucking 40 meter high Rogue Wave
11 - Once I accepted all of the above, I'm serene and I actually don't regret nothing nor feel bad. Refer back to number 3 for this.
12 - He is the first man that actually inspired me an interest in his dick. Which is quite impressive.
13 - I am re-discovering things i have buried so deep inside of me, I had forgotten it was things I liked and was curious about
14 - When I think of sex fantasies with him, I'm not randomly pulled out by thoughts of women being abused or sold and sex being a negative thing - which is among the reasons why I quit on it; my choice to say to, in the name of all the women who can't.
15 - Depending on my hormonal rages - i can be either a female or a male with him and both feel very natural and normal. Other men are so straight and stuck in that figure - they are impossible to be imagined with another male figure, which cuts half the fun away.
16 - (reason posted on facebook - something along the lines of Tom waking me up like the Prince would wake up Briar Rose in Anne Rice's version of the Sleeping Beauty tale - which i have not read and won't before some time yet) 
17 - I love this man and yet I avoid him. Haven't seen the movie Thor - where I discovered him - more than 5 times - which is an epic low, considering I can watch a fave movie non stop during minimum 3 months or more, all day long - all week long! Haven't seen Avengers yet - not sure I want to ... Haven't seen Hollow Crown and have no intention of seeing it before some time too. Have seen the Deep Blue Sea once and deleted the movie file. Haven't seen any other movie or series in which he appears. Normally I would hunt them down and run them until i puke. Only downloaded him reading poetry and that novel - The Red Necklace and some exhibition thing he did for the museum about the Egyptians. Been avoiding Twitter, Tumblr.

18 - He is the first man who inspired me the uncontrollable urge to run away to a far remote deserted location with no human communication devices available or working so I would get him out of my brain and heart. 

Monday, August 06, 2012

Again a few random thoughts - or - All the Reasons Why

I wanted to write this blog last week but, I needed more time to gather thoughts and acknowledge some little details.

I think I needed a little... jump start, so as to excuse myself fro randomly listing facts. It came today on Facebook.

"Hiddles Goddesses
ok girls i have something to say... i've seen that many fans of Tom just like him for his Loki role... i respect that but i think that this way to think on an artist is basic and poor and also kinda disrespectful... an artist is more that just one role and deserve to be note and seen for all the effort that he done as an artist! Tom really has talent in many things like dance for example! so let's consideer to see beyond that beautiful face and the good role Loki because he has more to offer than that! -fio-"
With my personal answer being :
Emilia Tokes I recently found myself wondering if in fact loved him as an actor or a man with an incredible voice! For me, Loki - looking like an adult result of a childhood first love - is just the entry door to discover that in fact, a real living man can inspire me things that no other could before and which I tought were missing in me, like a missing dll in a running OS of a computer. lol I admire him for that too, on a very personal level. And of course - I admire him for all that he did - when i gather small info like his Double Major at Cambridge, or the fact that he did tv shows and other things instead of partying as a uni student. I find those small bits endearing.
37 minutes ago ·
And I shall continue here. 
I wanted to title this - All The Reasons I have to Love Tom, but, tonight this feels ... out of context. And maybe I should just keep them for myself. After all - they are my reasons and to quote Loki through my fiction - Tom did not only breach my defensive wall - he fucking nuked it to Hiroshima level dust! And that is good enough to appreciate him.

A few stats for myself

Collected stats from my written fictions with Tom and Loki on all platforms where they were published

There are 2 main stories in various chapters

The fiction titled "A Night With The Most Wanted Man" was actually what should have been the second story, since the first one "About the Harmon of Pain" is quoted in the previous title. (It's a fiction inside a fiction.)

The reason why this shuffling happened is because the original draft of About the Harmony of Pain didn't please me enough - it was simply too much of an amateur's work, with too many things copied, rather than inspired from the source.

Original location was set up in New Mexico, just like in the movie Thor, but I thought it wouldn't fit Loki's character, being a Frost Giant and I really wanted to work on the "monster" aspect, the all together physical, geographical and spiritual isolation of both characters. At night, before I would fall asleep, I kept having this random imagery of me walking in a thick snow at night - which is basically my White Darkness fantasy world which I run in my head since so long I don't know when I started it - and then, out of the blue, from behind a tree, Loki comes out of the shadow and each night the scenario would change. It took me a few days but I figured out that, Brønnøysund in Norway would be a much more fit location to the story, though it's not clearly mentioned in the text, I used google map to describe the region.

Also, the fact that the narrator lived in the same mobile home setting as Jane, from Thor, disturbed me in the sense that - oh look - one more same element taken from the movie. Added to Loki's fall to about the same drop point as Thor, I just couldn't take it. To me it would have been cheap and low thievery. Nothing original there, even if the fiction's purpose was set on Loki's hurt feelings and self questioning, it's not enough of a reason to go that low.

So now - the compiled data - as of August 6th 2012


A Night With the Most Wanted Man - I

Introduction part / PG- G
Comments: 90
Favourites: 54
Views: 739 (4 today)
Downloads: 3 (0 today)
Wattpad : Not available in this format
Blogger : Not available in this format 

A Night With the Most Wanted Man (full text) PDF

Full text / Mature
Comments: 216
Favourites: 44
Views: 1,098 (7 today)
Downloads: 43 (0 today)
Wattpad : 153 reads
Blogger : 20 reads

Guess Who ? Part 1 (sequel to A N W T M W M)

Introduction / PG-G
Comments: 41
Favourites: 32
Views: 509 (3 today)
Downloads: 19 (0 today)
Wattpad : 23 reads
Blogger : 14 reads

Guess Who ? Part 2

Second Chapter / PG-G
Comments: 12
Favourites: 18
Views: 224 (61 today)
Downloads: 2 (0 today)
Wattpad : 31 reads

About The Harmony of Pain

Intro + Chapters 1, 2 / Mature

Comments: 15
Favourites: 29
Views: 492 (4 today)
Downloads: 12 (0 today)
Wattpad : 16 reads
Blogger : Not yet uploaded

About The Harmony of Pain - Part 3

Chapter 3 / PG-G
Comments: 2
Favourites: 12
Views: 179 (4 today)
Downloads: 4 (0 today)
Wattpad : 18 reads
 Blogger : Not yet uploaded



Charming randomness of a Monday Morning

It started off on Deviant art - as I answered to a poll from a friend - ikaax - about deviant art releasing a second full day where all members can enjoy the premium privileges and one of his 3 choices was : There is a God and he loves you. Obviously I picked that one.

(print screen not available, my dearie took his poll off)

Then I went to twitter to check out the latest tweets - and the Stiff Hiliengertz (I'm dead sure I spelled that wrong) posted something refering to their facebook - which post I couldn't access because I am not yet liking them. I wouldn't have expected Monks to have a twitter and even less a facebook so i follow them only since last night and this morning.


So, I go to facebook, in order to look them up to Like them and guess what ?


First and top of my page - a photo of dear beloved Tommy boy! 

(This is the post the  Monks put on their twitter and which I wanted to see)

My first reaction is to comment on it - with honest truth : I came to find monks and I find Tom. Thank you!

I went to shower and re-thought this whole train of events and I giggled to myself! Yesterday I sort of made peace with Henri, Sam and Rey and I just bursted out loud at the Angelic sense of humor!

There is a God and He Loves you - go seek your passion (the monks) and you'll get what you run away from with all your strength. (Running away : avoiding Tumblr and youtube (since I don't google him up and I have more fans on twitter than the ma himself so, no danger there)

Yesterday, I was listening to Gregorian - The Masters of Chant and this one song - The Gift gave me such shivers and goosebumps! The lyrics went straight into my heart like fucking spears and arrows! To the outside world it's just a song, but to me, in knowledge of my Angels' ways of talking to me - this was totally a slap from them. And after I made peace in my heart with them, I felt so liberated and light! I can love humans and still do my work and follow their lead.

And this morning - they wake me up with breakfast in bed!

Looove You Guys !! so friggin much!

(And I was just chatting with my friend Stephen, relating the events and :

Steph :
teheheh its a sign lol   tu sais ce qui disent, les voies du seigneur sont impénétrables lol
It's a sign lol you know what they say, the ways of the lord are impenetrable lol
Emilia Tokes says
et j,adore son humour :D
And i love his humor
Stephen
c'est comme moi qui check vla 1 mois pour planifier ce voyage sur google map pis je trouve eurien
It's like me who was looking to plan vacations last month, this same trip on google map and I find aanoothing

pis là, on dirait toute est placé sur ma route pis je trouve tout en 3 jours lol
and now, it's like everything is laid out on my path and I find everything in 3 days lol

Gotta love the guys up there ! I sure do ! And even today everything is placing in a ncie smooth motion : I have time to shower, go out get pu erh tea and meet my friend Adriana ! It's basically 2 metro stations away!







Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Guess Who - Part 1 - (sequel to A Night with the most wanted man)

“Guess who!”


A joyful and vibrant whisper trying to hide its natural voluptuousness ran in my ear like water dripping off an icicle in the spring meltdown. I didn’t want to guess who. I was almost afraid of the answer. And yet, the clues couldn’t have been clearer to my senses to interpret the right answer for this pop-quiz.
  
 “It can’t be who I think it is.”

He pressed his body against mine, squeezed his hands on my eyes and I felt his lips brushing the edge of my ear.

“What if it is?”

“Then, let me savour the uncertainty a little longer.”

Ridiculously long and sensual fingers pressed my eyes shot, capturing me into the most blissful ignorance, deeply sensual voice flowing in my ear – I could almost see the treacherous smile snaking itself on the corner of his lips – the warmth of his breath tickling my cheek and neck, the way his upper body instantly pressed against mine, and it seemed that the chair on which I was sitting offered almost no barrier against his ardour. I imagined myself, had I been standing, and an overwhelming sensation of glorious carnal delight took me over. 

In the concrete of the reality, I contented myself of flushing red. I imagined a nice vibrant shade of it, like the silky tone of the rouge worn by the actress in the latest Revlon add, glowing with even more intensity under the spotlights. 

“Good morning Tom.”

He chuckled, released me, and smacked a wet kiss on my cheek, like a little boy would, but I found myself still being unable to open my eyes, not just yet.  I wanted to taste the darkness in which he had plunged me, so as to better delight myself of the light he would blind me with as soon as he would be seated in front of me, at the small table of the even smaller café in which he found me.
  
I swallowed and opened my eyes. I prayed I would have the strength to look him in the eyes without either getting a huge insanely absurd comment gush out of my mouth, or, faint on the floor, or drop my tea on my laptop, or do anything embarrassing of the sort. My heart was already pounding so hard I thought I wouldn’t be able to hear him.
  
The soft morning light that seemed to have such horrendous difficulties entering the window of the small pub  ̶  because in fact, as much as I wanted to call this a café, it was really one of those antique and authentic English pubs  ̶  well, that shy morning light was now completely blinding me; it shone down upon him and gave him a sort of magic impossible to deny.  The fairness of his skin could’ve been compared to the purest snow and I just loved how his cheekbones seemed soft and sculpted to perfection. His new hairstyle, an intricate mix of gold and amber, highlighted by deep threads of shining rust reminded me of the soft ocean ripples bathed by the setting sun, and an powerful image of a BBC documentary imposed itself in my mind, and I couldn’t stop but smile; he was the sea I had chased after for so many years. His whole being was in fact like the ocean; a work of art to which regular words failed miserably at giving rightful justice.

He randomly took the menu under his hands and glanced over the choices. I stopped typing, put my shyness in the desktop’s trash bin and openly installed myself to admire his new looks. 

“Tom, can you stop being outrageously beautiful once in a while?”

He peeked over the card, raised his right eyebrow, his eyes seemed to gleam even more, smiled of his typical and undeniably honest “I’m sorry” and returned his attention to study the menu’s extravagant choices. Would he take an Earl Grey tea or a green one? “And would my good sir consider giving the breakfast special a curious attention, or content himself with scones and a fruit salad?” I imagined the waiter’s voice in my head, trying to contain himself, upon realizing who his “Good Sir” was on this fine morning. 

But the server liked to give his new arriving clients a moment to settle down and enjoy the seat and the sight before he would appear out of the dark corner behind the counter to enquire upon their desire. He wouldn’t come just yet. I had some time to delight myself, and myself alone, of his presence.

He was growing a goatee around his mouth a most charming stylized line on the chin sides. I presumed it was for either the current or some upcoming project. Matter of fact was the extremely attractive end result it gave him, icing him with a certain maturity which had drastically powerful effects on me. I was already aroused by his surprising visit, but his unspeakable beauty was like a fire heated sword straight through my heart. 

“You look stylish, with that.” I traced his beard around my lips.

He smiled and put the menu down. 

Cue for the server to come inquire about the Good Sir’s desires upon this most charming morning.

I guessed half right. Fruits and tea. I renewed mine. 

“I am playing William Shakespeare’s Henry the Fifth for a BBC production. You’d love the set! It’s a shame you have this other contract at the moment, it’s really all that you love! Knights, armors, mud, rain, battles.”

I smiled over my tea. I wouldn’t been able to keep a straight face, had I seen this man in armour, muddy and covered in fake blood, riding on a white horse, out of a mature version of a Disney fairy tale.
  
“How did you find me?” 

The question sprung out of me, almost as if his presence hurt me more than it delighted me. I regretted it before I could look up into his intensely blue eyes again. I felt terrible for having asked that and I’m sure my cheeks flushed into yet another exotically vivid shade of red.

Actors are not supposed to chase their fans, even less their fan-girls and even less the ones who have admittedly a serious fondness of them. I was grateful for that side distraction we had a few months before and I cherished the memories every minute of every day and night ever since, but I had grown into that idealistic dream where I was no more than a casual recreation on his busy agenda page filled with autograph schedules, countless interviews and whatever filled the rest of his perfectly stop-clock counted time, when he was not de facto on stage shooting.
  
He took a smart phone out of his trousers’ pocket and pressed a few keys.

“You changed your Facebook status about 47 minutes ago, using the location application. It wasn’t too hard after that.”

Triumphant smile. Triumphant bite into a kiwi quarter with a long and explicit chew on it. I nearly choked on my tea again. Like some months ago. Maybe I should quit tea all in all.
  
I tried to think. But as he was such a distracting enchantment! Any other man could have been sitting there, in the same clothes he was wearing, doing the same thing as he was doing, and yet, any other man wouldn’t have that incredibly unbearable intense power over me. 

“Why do you keep running away, though?” His question stroke me like a sniper’s bullet – hitting the bull’s eye of my heart.
  
“Because loving you is a burden far too glorious for my mortal soul.”

Because it is easier to love a memory, an abstract, a public figure shown in abundance on social platforms.
  
He smiled, chuckled and putting a hand on his cheek, sort of leaned into a more comfortable position, locking his eyes on me. And he looked at me, with an almost fierce and proud glow in his eyes. I wished he was a product of my imagination, but the laws of physics had a very annoying tendency in their ability to prove me wrong. The outside morning sun was using every trick in the book to put him into even more value. His deep blue sea jacket was like a piece of science fiction sent back in time in the background of the café who was definitely the remains of two centuries ago; a real authentic English pub which had its upstairs floor converted to bathrooms, but which really were rooms to be rented a mere two hundred years ago, a few pennies per bed, per night. The stone walls which were put together and held together with the means of “back then”, the old wooden beams solidly securing the upper floors above our heads, the random wall chandeliers, still used in the evenings, most of the furniture too, was old; only the bar was maybe less than century old new and of course the kitchen which was renewed upon the re-opening of the pub. 

Tom, on the other hand, was an artifact from the very distant future thrown back in time; so modern, so well cut, so vibrant in the old dusty ambiance of the place. He seemed altogether misfit and yet as if part of the landscape. 
 
I didn’t realize he had finished his fruit salad and my tea was getting cold but the fascination brought by the conclusion that his silences were as efficient as spoken words distracted me.  I couldn’t tell if he spoke of something else after that last sentence which was still wildly running over and over in my mind.

My eyes were still captivated by the softness of his neck and how the V cut of his – I presumed – white T-Shirt was just enough to enflame imaginations, and how odd it was for a man to inspire what I thought only women could inspire to men. 

“You care for stroll on the English country side? I have a horse at our disposition for the day.”

I nearly dropped my cup on the floor, as all of a sudden, my fingers holding it, seemed to have lost their ability to do such a simple task as to squeeze the handle hard and long enough to give me the required seconds to put it gently back in the saucer. 

“Why, of all the days of the year where you could have found me, have you picked that one day where I am wearing a skirt? And on top of it, to invite me for a horse ride!”

He rose his shoulders in that adorable “I don’t know” motion which melted me on the spot.
 
“I have a fear of heights. And horses are pretty high.”
  
“I’ll be sitting right behind you.”
  
So there was no way out of this, wasn’t there.
  
“It is highly enjoyable, I can assure you! You will love it!”
  
Oh that terribly convincing smile of his! 

He knew I was sold for when he assertively put his arm around my waist and guided me to his parked rental car and I was walking a little faster than he was.

Naturally, by habit, I walked toward the right hand side of the car, and only when I got to the door did I realize it was an English car, with the driver’s seat on this side.

“I wasn’t aware you got your driving license in these last three months.” He joked as he was putting away my laptop’s bag in the trunk of the car. 

I felt like a complete idiot. Voila. Something randomly stupid had to happen. Why couldn’t I be just normal in his presence for once?
  
He came from the opposite side, going around the car to meet me in the front. I wanted to look at him but all I could manage was to look at that insanely deep V cut; the delicate and yet masculine neck emerging from it resembled a white swan emerging from a sun bathed glistening splash of white foam. He was the sea, he was the merman, he was the tempest wrecking my ship in the storm of the feelings he was brewing above me.

This is the power over me / I'm rendered helpless / You've got me on my knees / You have the power over me / Nothing is certain / I wait for recovery” (1)

I snuck as best as I could between his impressive body and the car’s nose to slide with as much agility as I could manage to get to the door’s handle.

He crossed his arms on the car’s rooftop and smiled at me.

“You sure are more tensed than I am!” 

Tom 1 – Me 0. 

I burst into laughter. 

He opened his door and I tried to open mine. 



Even his driving was charming! So focused and cautious, the little habits kicked in like breathing; seatbelts: his, mine, the radio, pulling out of the parking area, getting on the road, slowly driving out of the village, accelerating on the … what was considered a high way I presumed between two villages, slowing down before the expected curves where he turned to get to his mysterious location. 

I remained in silence, not knowing how to even start a conversation, and when I nearly would have found a topic, I rather stood in that comfortable silence in which we were. I remembered that night on the roof under the stars; silence was the best thing we said to each other. Just being near him, in his arms, in his presence, was enough; words were unnecessary weights which ruined the lightness of the moment.

I smiled.

So… euhm… where is Asgard?” I asked, that night. And it all began there and then.

I wondered if things would have happened differently hadn’t I lost that SD card, or hadn’t I accepted his invitation, or hadn’t I asked that question or … 

The English country side gently past us by, unfolding into always the same bigger picture and yet constantly changing details; infinite green grass valleys sprinkled with a few cows or herds of drowsy sheeps here and there, some patches of wild flowers, mostly white daisies, a few short old wooden fences keeping limits, I thought, more for the visual entertainment rather than real utility purpose. 

“Tom…” I started and I lost my thought. 

The way the sun was playing in the remains of the morning dew on the grass was as if we were driving through a living emerald.

“Have you ever…”I continued, turning to face him. 

He answered my unfinished question, but not with spoken words.

His lips entered into the most delicious collision against mine and time stopped. We were 3 months ago on a rooftop under the stars; we were in a car on the English county side 3 months later  ̶  time had lost its powerful meaning. What had a meaningful significance was the way his beard tickled me, what had substantial importance was the trembling of my soul as his hand slid on the side of my chin to pull me closer as he took his first mouthful of the day. And I realized how much more I had missed him than what I was ready to admit it to myself and I smiled through his avidly ferocious kissing. His art of skilfully shutting me up remained as efficient and as delightfully entertaining – maybe even more so today with its unquestionable reality, versus the slowly fading memories and dreams that still haunted me, some nights, sharper than others. 

I vaguely heard the cliquey sound of the seatbelt’s release, both his and mine, at a small interval, and I was transported with unspeakable joy when he didn’t mind throwing himself over at me. His hand in the same exact spot as before; one finger on each side of my ear, the pinkie sliding down my  neck, the thumb rubbing my skin softly as his tongue was lost in a senselessly passionate waltz with mine. 

He pulled me closer. I dared touch his cheek and the contact of his skin under my hand was like a blind man seeing the light. I was floating in a heavenly bliss of delight and couldn’t care less how breathless I was becoming. 

“I missed you.” I managed to whisper to his V, pulling back for a moment.

“I have guessed that.” He replied, sprinkling his words with a storm of shallow kisses.

A shiver ran through my whole body as he got back to business as usual for the following most delicious five minutes of my last … let’s say a little over 90 days. 

His way of serving himself, while guilefully stopping my thinking process, was among those pesky and yet adorably annoying things he had an expertise at doing and which I missed so much! I felt as if I was a kid back in summer camp with my best friend, up to no good, playing tricks and pranks. I loved how strong and deep his desire had obviously grown since the last time, or was it mine? I couldn’t wait to finish one kiss to start the next one… or was it him? I had missed the taste of his tongue, the smoothness of his lips… the motion of his lascivious fury. 

Part 2 –


We passed through a last little village before the seemingly endless road imposed it’s sensual soft curve in front of us. 

“Are you taking me all the way up to Scotland?” I teased.

“Maybe.” He had a smug smile.
  
I tried to focus my attention on the road, but my heart was imitating a charging cavalry rushing down an appreciably inclined hill at full speed, and Tom was a man full of surprises. Just as I was trying to remember in which part of England we were by now, he simply took a turn left, as if he had done this path a thousand times, and soon enough, he pulled off on the side of a rather imposing stable’s red brick wall. 

An adorable old man, rather short and strong, came out, holding an imposing tall and strong chocolate brown horse by the bridle. 

“Heaven have mercy! You want me to … get on that thing’s back? Are you serious?”
 
I was more petrified with fear than jumping thrilled with excitement. 

He leaned over, smacked a quick kiss on my cheek and a dropped a reassuring whisper in my ear.  

“I’ll be right behind you!” 

And with that said every possible fear was simply and absolutely dissolved, evaporated into thin air, just as the very last remains of the early morning’s mist, killed by the powerful golden arrows the sun torpedoed in the heart of the weakening bunch of clouds.

The horse, a healthy stallion going by the oddly circumstantial name of Henry, looked me straight in the eye as I was facing him by the left side, trying to make a good first impression. Inside of me, I was trembling with apprehension, but on the outside, I tried my best to approach a steady reassuring hand to his nose, which I left hovering above his nostrils a good moment so he could sniff me and make my acquaintance, giving him the right to either accept me or refuse me. 

I nearly jumped when he pushed his nose into my palm and a little squeal of surprise escaped me. 

“Do all blokes impress you this dramatically?” Tom asked teasing, observing me, holding the bridle with an assured hand, the other one steadily caressing the horse’s neck. 

I couldn’t stop the laughter which burst out of my lips faster than a formula one car starting up and I grimaced back at him. 

“So… how do you expect me to … get on his back?” I asked, half consciously putting all my weight on my feet, hoping that roots would miraculously grow to keep attached to the ground.

Tom turned around the horse, walked slowly, taking all his time, ambushing me from behind, and I should have guessed it, firmly gripped my sides with both hands.

“You will slide your left foot into the stirrup and I will raise you with a little push; you will grip firmly the pommel, slide your right leg around the saddle, sit down, and relax. You will then free the stirrup so I can get up, I will slide my arm around you, take reins and give a little kick into Henry’s side. He will most likely make some noise and start walking.”
  
Sounded so easy!

“Ready?”

So joyful and optimistic!

I was a little less beaming with enthusiasm than he was.

He guided me, once again, step by step. I remembered that night, the staircase, his hand on my eyes, his voice guiding me – step by step.

“Left foot in the stirrup.”

Up until there, I managed, even if my skirt slid back greatly on my leg, revealing my pale skin.

“I hope you are enjoying yourself.” I whispered, trying to focus on the pommel.

“Very much so, indeed.” He replied, more amused than serious.

He pushed me up, as he said he would, but for a split second, a random thought distracted me and the
theoretically easy maneuver became a charming fiasco as I fell straight back into his arms, making him
step back from the surprise and I couldn’t stop smiling as he squeezed me strong against him. 

“We should do horse riding more often. I love how passionately you fall into my arms." 

I giggled and he gently set me back into position for a second try. I felt like an animated doll in his hands and sighed with a smile, remembering how I had naturally trusted him the first time. The second time wasn’t quite the success I had hoped for, but, but a famous proverb was on my side and third time became the charm! To which I shouted out loud my satisfaction of being finally successful.
 
Obviously, for Tom, getting up and settled into position was as blissfully easy as quoting Shakespeare. And like he said, giving a gentle kick into Henry’s side, our adventure of the day really began. 

I closed my eyes to better appreciate the stallion’s confident steps as he lead us out of the farm’s premises into what had the secret flowery scent of frizzy and mostly titillating adventurous times ahead of us. Tom had quickly secured his arm around my waist, as he had promised, holding the bridle with assurance, guiding the imposing horse on a most charming dirt path that officially started a good mile in the farm’s backyard, snaking itself in the green forest, curving around clearings, going into darker agglomerations of tall darker shaded green giants.

It’s most interesting how when you have your eyes closed, everything becomes hyper sensitively acute around you. The sound of Henry’s steady pace, the tapping sound of his shoes against the dirt road, his horse smell clashing against Tom’s cologne made me smile. Sometimes, as the horse would make a comment or move his neck and I would tense up, but the man behind me pressed himself against me, and I was sent back into a most comforting cocoon of trust and dream like state. Random birds were randomly chirping in the random distance, the sun was playing the same kind of hide and seek game through the foliage, tickling my face when it pierced a bit stronger between scarce leaves, creating strong luminous fireworks behind my closed eyes. I could imagine a Disney like scenery where the sunrays pierced down to gently caress the shyly emerging wild flowers’ open petals like open arms, swooshing through leaves, creating a rich spectrum of all sorts of shades of greens, from the deepest thickest bottom of a pond green to the lightest almost see-through golden tone. And as I took in deep slow breaths, all the various scents of nature mixed in the most delicious perfume which changed, it seemed, at the pace of our noble steed. With closed eyes, every delicate scent that brushed me was a like playing fairy twinkling its tiny wings, brushing my cheeks, flying away, twirling and dancing in the late summer’s air.

I smiled at the shear thought of where I was, with who I was, and what I was doing. It seemed a dream, and yet, my senses were too sharply excited at every passing second to be able to deny the unquestionable reality of it all. I felt his arm move up and down at each breath I took, sometimes he would squeeze me against himself – I thought – for the simple and delicate pleasure of feeling me, or to remind me that this was neither an illusion nor a daydream. Sometimes, he would slow down the horse’s pace to bring my attention on a scenery’s specific detail, knowing I would appreciate the finer detail of the sunlight against the green leaves and how two leaves, seen from under, would be of two different shades, lit differently from above, and how at their united center a third shade would exist, gently moved by the late summer breeze. 

Other times, I would be lost in wonder, trying to imagine the scenery in my mind, trying to paint the odd and yet picture perfect reality; a tall and strong chocolate brown stallion walking at a casual pace on a small dirt trail in the midst of an English forest, with tall leafy trees on all sides, wild flowers sprouting randomly in the painted landscape, discreet birds, some butterflies perhaps, fluttering here and there. On the horse’s back, a man in his very early thirties, with beauty worth of a prince, wavy hair of an undefinable shade between a golden blond and deep tones of amber, eyes of a soft deep blue under the shades, which would illuminate into a sky blue when lit up by a random sun ray. He was wearing a deep blue sea jacket and black suede trousers, contrasting with the surrounding environment and even more so seeming miss-fitting the activity he was enjoying. Seated before him and held safely, and strongly against him, the young woman of a merely a few years younger, was equally a fashion misfit in this natural activity with her almost see-through white sleeved shirt covering a pale peach top completed with an equally soft peachy pink ruffled skirt, which in this odd position was pulled up, revealing her pale thighs. 

“Hold on tight, we will accelerate a little.” He warned me just as we arrived at a clearing’s edge, a little atop a hill, softly reaping me from my half dream.

My heart suddenly accelerated into an untamed race. I felt Tom’s leg giving that signal kick into Henry’s side and the horse hastened and unleashed his own tamed desire, letting his vigour be known and appreciated, bursting into a passionate speedy canter which soon became an honest galloping. I felt Tom’s grip around me tightened, and I couldn’t have been happier for it. I felt his body leaning over me, just slightly, his chest practically fusing with my back, his legs pressing against mine, the bridle shortly wrapped around his hand.

Henry seemed to enjoy the speed as much as Tom did, and I thought to myself that this sure beated any amusement park in terms of thrilling sensations and excitement! I wanted to close my eyes, and yet I couldn’t bring myself to do so, eager to appreciate how fast the landscape unravelled under my eyes, how the grass was practically reduced to blurred horizontal lines, how the wind was strong against my chest and in my hair – which I hoped would hold in place until the race finished. 

As my heart was palpitating with unreasonable strength, I realized the full blown arousing side effect of this whole thing. There was something absolutely raw and sensual, untamed and primitive in this improvised race and I wondered if Tom had planned it consciously or if it was the randomness of the moment’s inspiration.

I was still on that indescribable high when the stallion slowed down and I could make out Tom’s voice in my ear.

“Fun, wasn’t it?”
  
It was the horse who had furnished most of the effort and it was me who was panting, still under the power of what I felt, and still was trying to tame inside of me. I swallowed and tried to gather my thoughts.

“Sure beats amusement parks!”

The landscape in which we stopped seemed as if ripped out of a children’s illustrated fairy tale book; if the woods would have been a giant hand, we would have landed on the edge of the palm, I imagined we came from an unseen place from the thumb, and rode a trail up to the hill top which was constituted by the Thenar’s eminence so to speak; in front of us, an appreciable clearing divided in its center by a most charming little stream, on this side, gifted by the presence of a venerable willow tree gently brushing the clear water’s ripples by its sorrowful branches, on the other side, the forest continued, as if the index, middle and ring fingers were jointed in a graceful figure, leaving to sight a small breach before the line of the pinky would dive into another section of thick dark woods.
  
Tom jumped off the horse’s back with as much ease as he got up and securing both hands on my waist, helped me down. I slightly lost my balance and landed directly in his arms – yet again.

“I am seriously considering taking you out on horse rides more often. You have this charming habit which is becoming most addictive!”

I smiled and rolled my arms around his neck as I leaned forward to kiss him. My turn to. I was burning from the ride and I couldn’t possibly think of restraining my burning momentum. I wanted him so much, so badly, so intensely, so senselessly, so strongly, so eagerly, so ardently, so fiercely, so thirstily …

I pulled back. 

He smiled looking me in the eyes.

“That was agreeable, why did you stop?”

“I ran out of synonyms to describe how badly I want you.”

“Let me help out.”

His adjectives were as sharply intense as the fiery tickling sensation inside of me; vigorous, long, deep, detailed, demanding.

I could feel his chest raising and lowering against mine. If my hands were casually thrown around his shoulders, his arms were a bit more possessive around my waist and back, pulling me closer to him, squishing my chest against his, locking me into a most delightful cage of craving passion, of which I wouldn’t have wished to escape.

I had forgotten how much I loved and most essentially how I missed kissing him. There was just something sublimely natural about him. I couldn’t define it precisely, nor could I deny it. It was just one of those statements of life like when you love a fruit, or a dish or a color; you love it, end of story. I loved kissing him. And he didn’t quite do anything to inspire me the opposite train of thoughts.

“Do you still hate me?” He whispered in my ear after a very long moment and it seemed as if someone had wide opened the blinds of a dark chamber, unleashing the blinding and burning power of morning’s sunlight.

I blinked and rested my head on his shoulder as I burst into laughter. So, he did remember that.

“Yes. Very much so, yes.” I replied in an equally low whisper.
  


Tom was lying on his side, a hand on his cheek, his elbow in a thick and soft patch of fresh grass, twirling random blades with his free hand.  He had taken off his jacket and I refrained myself from giving him that cheesy pick up line “Did it hurt much when you fell from heaven?”, and yet, behind his composed smile, I could see that twinkle in his eyes as he was clearly enjoying every moment of my internal struggle to remain calm in his presence.

It was odd, and yet so natural, this silence composed of smiles, of glances and of random little grimaces as we both tried to start a conversation and yet not quite finding the proper words. Almost as oddly, I realized that in fact, words were not as much needed to express whatever we wanted to say to each other.

A good few ten or twenty meters behind him a rather thick pool of daisies caught my attention and by a random strike of inspiration – to Tom’s open surprise and unhidden deception – I sprang up and ran to collect a few.

“Isn’t it normally up to the gentleman to gather flowers for his lady?” He asked bemused when I came back with a huge stack in my hands.

I gave him a single one.
  
“Nope. Not in our modern era.”

He smiled and I sat down to craft him a crown.

He looked at me with curiosity, trying to guess where I was going, but soon his smile widened and a chuckle escaped him as he lay back on his back, playing with his daisy. 

By the time I was done, he had his fingers crossed behind his neck; eyes closed and seemed to enjoy a little nap. The scenery itself – had I had a camera on me – would have been worthy of a classic romantic painter’s vision on an outing. The man, lying on the tender green grass, enjoying the sun’s warmth, the random chirping of birds, the faint whispers of the wind the trees around the clearing; the girl sitting near him, silently working on her craft, making a crown one flower at a time, for the man who had wan her heart in the most charmingly unexpected possible way.

I grinned with malice. I could have just called out his name, to get his attention, or bend over and kiss him on the cheek, maybe on the lips to play Sleeping Beauty, but since he was so freely offering himself to me, why not raise the fun bar just a little higher?

Trying my best not to unravel my evil plan, I snuck up on his crouch before he would open his eyes. He got half up, resting his weight on his elbows and grinned at me.

“You lied. The daisy’s last petal confirmed it. You love me.”

“I guess daisies can’t lie, can’t they?”

He silently shook his head to a no. 

“So then, I have no other choice but to…” I started, and was as soon caught off guard as he suddenly raised himself to a more appropriate sitting position and locked his arms in my back.

“… But to crown you my king.” I finished.

The white of the daisy crown in the flamboyant rusty gold of his hair gave him an even more so unbearable beauty and I sighed, regretting the absence of my trusty camera to capture the perfect of the moment. Maybe it was my imagination playing tricks on me, making me believe he could read my mind, ore more realistically, he knew me all too well, for he quickly snuck out a mobile phone from his trousers’ pocket and offered it to me.