Monday, April 12, 2010

So that's all I am ...

It's been about over a month than an ex of mine tries to seduce me back into a quick time with him (thought I doubt he would be satisfied with only one and would certainly try for more) using the charming pretext that we haven't seen each other in so long.


My very first ex hasn't seen me since' I'm 20 and after he added me on Facebook, never even said hi. This second one is a tenacious lil bastard though. Proposing movie theater (take a wild guess for what reason), than a porn movie at his home ( !! ) which I turned around in all honesty : if you want a porn movie with me, it better be gay ! to which he proposed a porn theater downtown, in the village, which I refused : sperm makes me throw up no matter the context !

Than he proposed an afternoon back at Old Port of Montreal where during the summer which I spent with him, we used go there and he got his way into my pants - hands first, to be precise. It seems he never quite got over that memory ! I fucked 3 other dudes after him, plus one with whom I didn't got that far (lack of ... time possibility during the day) and I didn't felt much pain or regret or ... what ever. I moved on.

He has this girlfriend since we became roommates (back 6 years ago) - a girl which I know - and he still "ha[s] a pleasant memory of [my] kisses" ... Christ ! He has been fucking this girl for the last 6 years and he thinks of MY kisses ??

in french : Lamentable !!

Than, today, I was randomly on facebook to reply to a chat I had with another friend of mine and this other man with whom I spent a day (no intimate encounter of any kind though) still misses my open mind-ness for his fetish (stockings and feet) and still fantasies about me !

Oh dear heavens ! what have I done ?!

Yet, when I honestly tell him that I had moved on, spent about over 2 years fantasizing about another man (Sabik) and now doing the same with yet another (Henri) he suddenly ... cools off. Waits a good 5 minutes before asking a socially decent and neutral question : at the dawn of your 30's, do you feel changed, different than when you were 18-20 ?

Obviously yes !

I prefer the thrills of spirituality to the frivolities of flesh pleasures ! I prefer the thrills of being madly in love with a memory, a dream, a ghost than to be deceived and hurt by a living pack of cells who lets itself be ruled by hormones.

So that's all I am for my exes : great sex for free - no problems, no questions. A free prostitute - even, a slut - since I wouldn't ask nothing in return and I doubt they would give anything in exchange either.

That's all I am - "a great time" a great memory ...

I prefer my vivid memories of Sabik and Henri and even both at the same time is more enjoyable than one of my real exes !

And since we are into it - why not make an orgy ? Jorgen, Fritz, Sam - come in join the fun !

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