One amazing Friday!

It seems as if everything just unlocked all of a sudden, or as if the sun rose behind the hills, allowing me to see and enjoy the landscape.

I have had my zazzle store up and running for quite some time now, but I never gave it significant importance nor hopes.

I have been drawing Puffies since 2005, but they were most likely ignored and not taken ... well, seriously is a word far too out of reach to be even considered...

But let me start this off as it should. I have a tendency to wander off when I attempt to create introduction contexts.

Today I walked down to the nearest Staples store located inside the Marché Central to pick up printed posters which were ready for me, which I dropped off yesterday morning, got the call yesterday afternoon past 5pm, and went to pick them today.

I go there and nicely wait in line, while a gentleman was being served - printing CVs and reference letters in multiple amounts. My posters were given to me and opened before so that I can test proof them or see if i am satisfied. I nearly fell on the floor with contentment! The quality of the paper - a stronger glossy thick cardboard-ish sort of paper! in that poster format (18x24)! The ... feeling of seeing your work printed like that, looking all perfect and professional! I was squealing, I will admit it!

The posters had white boarders because in the process of resizing them - i had originally designed them 27x40inches which is a real movie poster standard format - and since the printing team was nice enough to not cut off my copyright and other texts - they printed as they could and left the white edges which the printing department asked me if I wanted off. While they did, I tried to print a set of cards I designed for deviantart.com community project, which didn't quite worked out, so I will drop them off tomorrow or Monday to be printed and sent off as soon as they are ready. So, I go back to the desk, pick up my stuff, and head out.

Staples and the Dollar Store are one next to each other and there is a bench in front of the dollar store where people sit down or sort their purchases. I saw a man there but I thought, I'll take the far out side and put away my posters. What was not my surprise when I noticed that the man was the client before me, at Staples! I do now know if he in fact waited me out or if this was random, but, he addressed me nonetheless and asked if the posters were real movie posters, to which I giggled and confessed that no, they were fake movie posters that I designed and illustrated.

I take off the elastics and show him my works, explaining that, since I don't draw humans, this is my way of doing art.

The first one top was Project Wendy, and I felt the need to generally give him a context.

"You know the movies Thor and The Avengers?"
"Yes."
"The guy who plays Loki did a sort of a sketch or something in which he was a fake delivery man, he improvised this mustache, which he called Wendy and it became a social thing on the internet. This is a silly little thing done inspired by that. And the rest is for his birthday present."

Then came Midnight in Paris (also landscape oriented) to which I precised that I hadn't seen the movie, but the title inspired me. Then the Christmas ones with my own characters which he totally loved! I shared the joke behind Ding!Dong! The Christmas bells are ringing which started off as my friend spotting 3-4 snowflakes one afternoon and my character Sybille feeling the need to knit them scarves and tuques.  Then I introduced him to Suzy Snowflake, a classic old winter holiday song and Tommy's Angels, to which he instantly recognized the Charlie's Angels reference! I was so happy! And lastly Walpurgis Night (with German title).

He congratulated me again and shared his appreciation of my work. He asked me if I was working and I said no, not at this moment, but now, with some time, I wonder if he didn't mean if I worked as a professional illustrator or publicity creator.

He shared his appreciation of my work once more and I finished wrapping my stuff, as he also left and went on his way.

When I was done, I also went in the same direction to walk back home and haha - there he was on the same street, and we met again at the corner before we crossed. I then sort of walked ahead of him and he probably went on his merry way home and me, to mine.

But the fact that a total random stranger liked my work so much! with repeated praises comforted me and reassured me in my ... desire to send these off to my Muse. I doubted a couple of times, to even finish them, then to print, then to send them, but each time, I either got a dream, or a sign - like today - that I was doing the right thing.

After I got home, and made myself a tea, and created the official Puffies page on facebook, I went to Zazzle to check my stuff and add the Christmas cards designs and what is not my surprise, as i go through the profile update procedure, to notice that I actually sold items! I know that I had sold Sybille doing sky or winter sports last year or so, and I was not expecting anything after that! But i'm thrilled to see that I also sold a men's t-shirt of Mjolnir (Thor's Hammer), Kitty Khat (the blue and purple illustrated fantasy ca), and Christmas hollies sticker :D

Today was grand! And just to know that there is someone out there wearing MY design! it's grand!

It feels like

It feels like suddenly liking and wanting a dish one never took any special interest in before, a dish one knows to be dangerous, because of serious allergies, and yet, this one time, one feels uncontrollably driven to take a bite, or two, or to finish the plate, even if it means a possible death after the meal.

And it feels odd and it's scary because the dish is now all of a sudden very real in front of you, appetizing, with exotic and yet familiar scent, taunting and burning your hunger.

It was easier before when the dishes I craved for were, and still are, not in my own dimension.

I want to love Whom I want to love

Translation : I would like to love like I want, who I want, at the moment I want and where I want.

And I am actually doing it.

I have decided that I wouldn't give the slightest fuck to people disagreeing with how I feel about a certain man. This is My Heart and My Life. If my heart made this choice, I fill follow the path it is tracing for me and enjoy every step of the way!

who is your character in avengers?

Stolen from :

• mint0729 on deviant art.com

Tony Stark / Iron Man
[ ] You like booze - nothing like Jack Daniels meets Dr. Pepper
[X] You are the life of the party - I can thrown in a few good lines and crack some jokes
[X] You love gadgets - d'uuuh!
[ ] You can be rather cocky
[] Your favorite color is red or gold - PINK and grey
[X] You're good with computers - noob geek, working on being a real geek
[X] You use sarcasm a lot - you can't possibly imagine.
[] You love getting attention - nah. I try to stay clear out of it
[ ] You're good at mechanics - I suck so bad it's not funny!
[X] You have issues with your parents - Yup. Massive ones.

Total : 5/10


Dr. Bruce Banner / The Hulk
[ ] You're good at science - I suck.
[ ] You can get very aggressive when ticked off - I avoid conflict. Gives wrinkles.
[X] You like to be secluded most of the time - yeah. routine is comforting.
[X] You like wearing baggy clothes - it's called COMFORT and yeah i prone that
[X] You like to meditate - yes and pray and think and chat with myself
[ ] You like doing science experiments - only in the kitchen!
[X] You try to avoid getting into fights - yeah - I don't wanna kill for free
[ ] You like wearing purple things - eeew no.
[X] You're clever - I been told so
[] Your favorite color is green - not even around Christmas, sorry
Total : 5/10

Thor
[ ] You're good with a hammer - well depends what you want me to smash....
[X] You like coffee - Fokyeah!
[ ] You can eat a truckload of food and still be hungry - nah - i eat, i'm done. let's move on.
[X] You can be arrogant - yes.
[X] You have long hair - Rapunzel length! (they do reach the crack of my ass)
[X] You have an interest in astrology (astronomy*?) I'm an astrology freak!
[X] You can get sulky when things don't go your way - I take it too personally yes, defeated to the core
[X] You're willing to take a fall for someone else - I always apologized to one day teachers for the class' bad behavior
[ ] You like to dress up as fantasy characters - O_o i'll pass on that thank you
[ ] You don't get on well with your sibling(s) - I love my sis!
Total : 6/10

Steve Rogers / Captain America
[X] You like helping those in need in any way you can - 24/7 if I am asked
[X] You hate bullies - I was bullied myself, so obviously I don't go promoting them!
[ ] You're a great leader - If such situation would arise, i presume...
[X] You're a bit of a do-gooder - Yup Yup !
[ ] One of your favorite color is red, white or blue - PINK.
[ ] You like wearing things with stars on them - nope.
[ ] You strongly admire the army - Absolutely NOT. I admire the medieval knights.
[ ] You have a good throwing arm - keep dreaming!
[ ] You like war films - Can't stand them! Unless it's ID-4 or Star Wars
[ ] You're good at running - I used to. I had this great trainer back in grade school. He had a crush on me, ran after me, i ran away from him : morning. break, lunch! I was in Top Shape! Dammit! I need a guy to run after me to get back into the swing of things!
Total : 3/10

Colonel Nick Fury
[X] You like wearing long coats - It's called keeping your legs warm in winter. (And In Canada, you foken need it!)
[X] You're good at organizing things - I'm a master at classifying!
[ ] You're good at being in the loop - Dude! I live in the neighbor galaxy!
[X] You like guns - Well, they are quite sexy if well designed.
[X] You're good at giving information to people - I am a good teacher.
[X] You like giving solutions to people's problems - I do that on MSN 7 days a week.
[ ] You like eyepatches - Only on Halloween Nights when I am a pirate.
[ ] You work best as part of a team - I work best on my own.
[X] You like beards - If it's on Tommy-Cakes... yes.
[ ] You like wearing black things - Depends...  if they are comfortable.
Total : 6/10

Natasha Romanoff / Black Widow
[ ] You like wearing tight clothes - Not in this life!
[ ] You can do martial arts - in my dreams at night. Spent a couple years though.
[ ] You're intrested in the world of spies - Nope. I'm into SWAT teams and assassins.
[ ] You have red hair - Dyed them once.
[] You're quite agile - Miss Clumsy!
[X] People generally don't know much about the real you - they keep telling me that!
[] You like to make yourself look good - Euh -- nO! You take me as i am. Deal with it. I hate make up
[X] You can speak another language - French ad Hungarian
[ ] You're good at taking orders - Deeeepends! I'm good at executing but I'll decide if I agree or not beforehand.
[X] You were born in a different country to the one you are living in now - yes, good ol' Transylvania!
Total : 3/10

Clint Barton / Hawkeye
[ ] You're very good at archery. - Never touched a bow and arrow in my life.
[X] You currently like/love someone on your team - Is Tom on my team ? I presume he is since I'm his fan....
[ ] You like to wear purple and black - Nope. Definitely NOT.
[ ] You're very good at aiming - In my dreams perhaps
[ ] You've worked at the carnival - Never even went to see one!
[ ] You like working in a team - I'm a lone wolf, buddy!
[X] You're up for almost anything thrown at you - I am good at deciding if I want to take the risk or not to accept what is thrown at me to deal with it.
[X] You'd be a top assassin if you ever took the job - Fuck yeah! I have some years of experience.
[X] You're quiet - Too quiet = Dangerous. That is me.
[X] You tend to get along with people well - Yeah, most of the time!
Total : 5/10

Loki
[] You want to be a great leader - Fuckno!
[X] You want to prove something - Yes.
[X] You're the younger sibling - hehe indeed.
[X] You've been/are overshadowed by a sibling - It's the opposite entirely but feels as wrong!
[ ] You don't get along so great with your sibling - I love her!
[X] You're good at lying - I'm very skilled, indeed.
[ ] You're adopted - I wish.
[X] You're very clever - Been told so.
[X] You are able to manipulate people well - Yes, if I really want something out of them. But most of the time i feel bad receiving stuff.
[X] Your favorite color is green or gold - Nope. Pink, or grey or white, or blue.
Total : 7/10
--------------------

Fuckyeah! I'm Loki!

Love and finding your home

TOM TALKS- “When I fall in love with someone, then that doesn’t “just” happen… When I love someone’s character, over time I’ll see that personality, I love so much, shining through their eyes and fusing with their appearance, turning them in the most beautiful girl in the world. It’s not about appearance, it’s about someone’s beautiful, amazing, wonderful, fantastic personality, you’ll see every time you look at her. It’s about the fact that when you look in her eyes, you just feel home… You forget all your problems, all your fears, you just feel safe, you feel like you’ve finally found a place where you belong… A place you can spend an eternity, where you will spend an eternity, cause those enchanting, beautiful eyes will slow down time and make every second; looking in her beautiful eyes, right into her amazing personality, last more than a lifetime. It’s about the fact that the whole world, the whole universe just looks so much more beautiful! All of a sudden everything looks different and your heart will just start smiling. That’s what love is all about… the moment someone you only “liked” before, changes into the most aesthetical pleasing girl in the world. The moment you realize how blind you’ve been all those days, how you were living in a fake universe, never knowing that the only thing your life is all about, the only thing that keeps you smiling, was all the time right next to you.”— Tom Hiddleston (on finding love)

 

Emi replies.

No Kidding.  

Seriously. That is pretty much my quest and I nearly found it! I just need to find out if Henri has a physical living incarnation at the moment, and who happens to be. Though - I have to admit. I fear sometimes, it's a part of you. You have the sea in your eyes and the cathedral in your heart. And that is my home. 

 

 

Dear Muse, you see, that is the problem. That is why i have tried so hard to avoid you, to run away from you and what you inspire me. I have searched for home all my life, to a place, to a person to belong to, and I fear that you are far too great to be that person.  And I love you and I cannot deny that. I care for you, for your happiness, your well being; I wish to inspire you, to make you smile, to make you happy. I would be the first to play Cupid if I knew another woman would make you happy, and if I could influence the odds. Yes it sounds weird but love is like this ; you want the other's happiness to glow int heir eyes, before your own selfish needs and desires.

I have loved men that appeared in my dreams because they were that - people living in another realm where things are possible with a heart's secret sight. I could conjure up a thousand excuses, they are all valid and they all can be tossed aside by your hand. Funny isn't it? One's stone wall can be washed like a child's sandcastle. I think what frightens me the most is my own feelings for you and how far I am ready to go, to please you. It's not something I am accustomed to experience or even feel. I always stood my guard, not allowing real men to reach me. The ones I loved, never knew I had feelings. But you, you know it. The question is - have you read between the lines of the social mask to see glitter the secret honesty laying there at the pond's bottom. And I hope and I pray you didn't. I hope and pray you have read that rapidly. glancing over the lines of my confession as you would for any other fan of yours who had declared the same things - more or less. 

I see you in my dreams, almost every night. That is almost all that I need. I guess. For now. 

Inappropriate Meme

stolen from deviant art - mouhaha -originally from http://freakkatt.deviantart.com/

Rules:
1.) Go to urbandictonary.com and type in your answers to the following questions.
2.) Post the 1st definition it gives you.
3.) Tag someone after completion.

1.) YOUR NAME

The kind of girl who everyone loves. She's stunning and is always lovely. She has a cute face and a great body. Normally she originates from Italy or Spain. Girl 1 'Wow look at that girl , doesn't she seem amazing?' Girl 2 'Yep, she's definitely an Emilia'

2.) YOUR AGE?
29

The age at which most women stop aging (or so they say!).

3.) ONE OR TWO OF YOUR FRIENDS?

Angel
	The perfect boyfriend; someone who will stay on the phone with you just because, someone who opens doors for you, someone who makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside whenever you're near them. They generally tease you a lot. But you never care.

4.) WHAT SHOULD YOU BE DOING?
Living :

That's what you do after you are born and before you die.

Can't ya bet Just a tad bit more.... specific ??

5.) FAVOURITE COLOUR(S)?
Pink :

A word girls wear written across their butts. Grey:

A type of extra terrestrial being (alien). Usually the most common amongst alleged abductees. Also the type most commonly connoted with the Rosswell, New Mexico crash site. Some believe Greys are of the same species of alien as Reptilian. This is debatable.

6.) BIRTHPLACE?
Tirgu-Mures isn't defined yet.
Transylvania :

	Transylvania forms the western and central parts of Romania. Comes from latin "trans" meaning across and "silva" meaning forest. So it literally translates to "the land across the forest". Transylvania usually is accosiated with vampires, which is up to you to decide is true or not.

7.) MONTH OF YOUR BIRTH?

The idea of perfection. The 8th Month of the year in certain European and Asian cultures signifies greatness in achieving perfection, or something close to it.

8.) DAY OF YOUR BIRTH?

The age at which an American can drive a car and get a job, but still can't vote.

Legal age for fucking in the UK.

The age of consent in most countries.


9.) LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO?
Best Friend

Best Friends are very special people in your life. They are the first people you think about when you make plans. They are the first people you go to when you need someone to talk to. You will phone them up just to talk about nothing, or the most important things in your life. When you’re sad they will try their hardest to cheer you up. They give the best hugs in the world! They are the shoulder to cry on, because you know that they truly care about you. In most cases they would take a bullet for you, coz it would be too painful to watch you get hurt.

10.) NICKNAMES?
Em
1. A typically short girl, who makes up for her lack of height with her extreme beauty, hilarious sense of humour and outgoing nature.

About the randomness of songs

I was working on the second part of my story today, working the cottage scene, making myself a tea and kept having Trans Siberian Orchestra's A Final Dream's lyrics in my mind "Lay your head down, and sleep on my shoulder" http://www.elyrics.net/read/t/trans,,Siberian-orchestra-lyrics/a-final-dream-lyrics.html

A couple hours later - Tom tweets his song of the day : Tom Hiddleston ‏@twhiddleston

Song of the Day: "Let's Stay Together", by Al Green. Mmm-hmm. 

How coincidental. 

Love the randomness of life. 

About the recent wave of violence in Muslim countries

So one man decided to make a movie ridiculing the prophet Mahomet. It is a questionable and condemnable action, I agree.

The movie has been leaked intentionally or unintentionally on the internet an we all know the mighty limitless powers of Youtube.

The Muslim / Islamic based people have fought last year - for a great many months for their freedom and their basic human rights against despotic and tyrannic rulers; blood was shed, lives were lost. That was somewhat acceptable, in the long run, because political systems changed and allowed the greater population to have a chance of a better life. It can be considered noble, even.

But in the end of summer 2012, Muslims suicide and killing other fellow innocents with them just to express their anger at the movie of ONE individual who probably did this in order to get some attention, is tragically lame, massively stupid and downright inexcusable!

ONE individual makes ONE movie and sparks ONE fire FUELED by A MINORITY which takes amplitude and kills innocent people of both American (aka the strangers, the outsiders, the "evil occidentals" and later of their own people. And yes - the Q'aran preaches love and help and tolerance and all the good things of life - like Jesus.

And if I remember correctly, the amount of atrocities committed in the Holy name of the Christ spans for over 2 thousand years and escalates in violence and stupidity.

WHY is that the radical minorities have the strongest impact on the majority of peaceful populations?

WHY can't we stop the fire now that it's yet in the beginning of it?

and mostly -

message to the Muslim people in the streets - and if someone wants to translate this in Arabic - you are most welcome to do so, I fully take credit for my words and thoughts.

WHY do you waste your time fueling and giving this egoistic idiot what he wants ? He made that movie OBVIOUSLY to insult your culture and religion because he Obviously KNEW the outcome of such actions from his part. We have a good amount of references from the past - it's not like he can say he didn't knew!

DO YOU REALIZE YOU ARE GIVING HIM MORE CREDIT THAN HE DESERVES? YOU HAVE FALLEN INTO HIS TRAP!

These people are egoistical beasts who do cheap thrill filled actions to get a maximum of attenion on them and he succeeded. The more you - the Muslims - go in the streets to express your anger (and you have the right to do, I am not denying that at all!) but the more you do so, the more you give HIM importance!

Please BE MORE INTELLIGENT than this demented ego boosted idiot and give YOURSELVES the right to be Above him.

Fake Rumors leading to death threats

I don't even know from where I want to start this entry.

Fact is - the matter of the content - the content to be written is just so astonishingly stupid it saps my inspiration.

The recent whirlwind of events make me wonder about things such as - for example - how the fanship fueled credulity of some fans can be a wild fire with devastating outcomes.

Once upon a time, a few days ago, it was rumored on twitter that actor Tom Hiddleston would appear on the Thor 2 movie shooting location. By Thursday or Friday, with the  lack of photos provided by the many spies swriling around the shooting location, the said actor had a considerable amount of hate tweets and even death threats sent to him - but very much so disappointed "fans".

Now - let me scalpel open this as a doctor would open a patient's chest for a heart transplant.

1 - Twitter.
It's Not Facebook and even Facebook can be fake so - it's not because the account name is Thor2TheMovie that you have blindfold trust everything it tweets!

With the amount of fake / fan / dedicated accounts for Tom and Loki and anything in that galaxy - confusion could have happened, I agree, especially if the account was NOT FOLLOWED by the movie crew or actors. I mean don't you think it would be just NORMAL for Tom or his agent or the producer or who ever is working on the movie to FOLLOW that account ? Seriously. Just think about it.

2 - Rumors.
Do you guys know the amount of logistics it takes on a daily basis on a shooting location? There are highly sensitive and costly material to move around, to keep safe. There are hundreds of staff people to have on location. There are good reasons why there is a tight schedule and there is a reason why scenes are shot in a specific order - which accommodates a maximum of working staff people. Weather, availability of equipment, of resources, of actors, of staff members working around the actors - everything is studied down to the iota to minimize the cost of budget. A movie is not done snapping fingers! And if an actor HIMSELF wouldn't tweet about being at a specific location at a specific time - why would anyone give so much credit to an unverified source?

Furthermore, if the actor didn't tweet such info or was requested NOT TO do it for security measures for example - didn't anyone thought of that? Have you considered that? Not all fans are happy little polite and respectful ones - and the people around the actor are very well aware of this aspect about their clients - so of course everything in their power to protect the said actor is used and it's just flat out normal!

Last but not least - can movie producers make a movie without the world knowing Everything about it before it is launched in the theater rooms? I mean what's the point of knowing and seeing everything beforehand ? Don't we go to see movies in theaters for a certain experience? To discover something - to enjoy the unexpected? If Thor was shot in Siberia in the middle of the winter - would you go there just to have a chance to see Tom ? It's not because the location is somewhat easy of access that you have the right or the permission to sneak around! There are tight rules about release of information for good reasons! Why do you think contracts have certain lines about confidentiality and such and so on?

I feel like we are killing the magic - raping the magician and roasting the bunny on a camping fire!

3 - Seriously - Do you seriously consider that Tom owes you or us anything ? It's as if the fans who believed those rumors believed that Tom is like a sort of best friend who had promised to pop in for a coffee and cancelled at the last minute. Even though Tom and his fans happen to have a very nice and close relationship - he still has the right first and foremost - to his own private life with his family, his agenda, his working schedules! He doesn't owe his fans anything! Especially if he wasn't even aware of the rumors going around. He is most probably not on Twitter and Facebook all day long checking out the countless things going around about him! He is an actor! He has lines to know by heart - he has scenes to practice! That requires a few technicalities like a quiet environment WITHOUT silly stupid time wasting distractions.

4 - Death Threats. Now - YOU CANNOT CALL YOURSELF A TOM HIDDLESTON FAN IF YOU DARE just dare think anything bad about him, even less send him angry hateful tweets and death threats ? Are you for real ? Who do you THINK you are ? What about respect ? It just shows how intolerant, how foolish, how naïve and how superficial you are! Would you send a death threat to your local grocery store cashier girl because you didn't find that box of cookies which was advertised to be on special on the shelves ? No, of course you wouldn't! So why in the name of good common sense would you flame an actor you supposedly admire? Have you people considered the consequences of these stupid actions on the long run? What if security tightens around him to protect him against such wild and inconsiderate "fans". What if he won't be so generous of his time in the future? Makes me wonder how old these barbaric retards really are! Because if this is how you admire your actors, singers and public figures - I don't want to know how you dare treat your own friends, family and pets!

It's already nice of him to actually be on twitter - which allows his fans to interact with him - we should be thankful and not deteriorate the situation and his trust in the other bunch of fans who do actually care for him and his safety.

All in all - it just shows how immature and bluntly stupid some people are.

Stuck in the elevator

stolen from

• 2 days, 19 hours ago by ~clawddraculaurafan10
• Journals / Personal

I stole this one from ~misguidedghost777

Me and you are locked in the bathroom together... // Me and Tom Hiddleston // Samaël // Sabik // Henri Morvan stuck in an elevator

[x]1. Hardcore sex -- with the 3 last ones
[x]2. Talk about life -- all 4
[x]3. Play video games -- al 4
[x]4. Get drunk -- would be fun! (And I would trust these men not take advantage)
[x]5. Make out -- of course
[]6. Awkward... -- ope - i feel perfectly okay with these blokes
[x]7. Watch porn -- can it be gay ? with Sam and Sab only thought!
[x]8. Confide in each other -- of course -- all 4
[x]9. Quick kiss -- Tom on the cheek, the 3 others a little more explicitly passionate
[]10. Argue -- have no reason to
[]11. Try and get out -- if I really need to use a bathroom yes ...
[x]12. Tickle war. -- deeeepends.....
[]13. Chill in seperate emo corners --no way!
[x]14. Make a baby. -- O_O Euh... >:D mouhaha yes.
[]15. Zombie Apocalypse in the dark -- ze what I beg your pardon ?
[x]16. Sleep -- snuggled up against these guys, after a long discussion about stuff - yes
[x]17. Paperwork -- burn them to fry marshmallows, yes
[]18. Fight -- nope
[]19. Hope for rescue -- maybe
[]20. Give hickies -- what's a hickie ?
[]21. Kill each of us -- technically cannot kill the Angel of Death, a doll and a memory of someone -- and i have no intention of hurting Tom
[]22. Hang our self -- would rather play tying their wrists with their neck ties but only for fun and games
[]23. Punch and slap each other until we're dead. -- nooo
[x]24. Snuggle! -- yeeesss
[x]25. FANGIRL/FANBOY!! -- d'uuh obviously !

Girl's Confession Meme

 

1. Do you sleep in your bra?
Never wear one! When I need to – I wear a smaller than my ideal size sports bra to squish/reduce my chest down (as a teenager, I often said that, the day Bruce Willis will wear bras and openly admit how comfortable they are - I will make an effort - not before, not of my own will)


2. Do you sleep with socks on?
Who would ? I only wear socks when I need to go outside – inside I walk barefoot 24/7

3. Would you rather sleep alone or with someone else?
Alone – unless it’s one of the 4 Musketeers (Samael, Sabik, Henri, Tom)

4. Do you enjoy drama?
Daytime soap opera – a bit I guess – or dramatic movies

5. Are you a girly-girl?
Euh – I am romantic but I do not wear girly girly stuff nor act like one (hate skirts, love monster movies, not afraid of bruises, curse a lot)

6. Who was the last person you hugged?
My niece – she’s a regular hug-a-ton

8. Are you short?
1m63 and 3/4^th

9. Do you like somebody?
Yup

10. Does your Facebook password have to do with a boy?
Nope :D haha -

11. Do you care if your socks are dirty?
sadly not that much

12. Do you think you're alone sometimes?
desperately most of the time yes

13. Do you dress up on Halloween?
not since I’m 12 but I wish I could

14. Are you double jointed?
O_o I’d be surprised if I even have the regular ones! Nevermind double…

15. Where is the weirdest place you have slept?
… my life is too boring to have a decent answer – but I would love under the stars

16. Has anyone touched/smacked your butt in the past 24 hours?
nope and they wouldn’t be alive had they dared ^_^

17. Is there any type of rumor going around about you?
I never paid attention to what people tell about me

18. Do you call anybody by their last name?
nope – eeuh – do you count fictional character who doesn’t like his first name ? but even him I call him by his first name I refer to him (Fox Mulder – the X Files)

19. How many guys will read this just because it says "Girl Confessions"?
one

20. Check those that apply:
[  ] I do wear make up.
[  ] I have cried in a movie theater.
[  ] I can put mascara on without opening my mouth.
[ ] I think Johnny Depp is sexy.
[ ] I like death/grind/black metal.
[ ] I like rap.
[ ] I like techno
[  ] I like country.
[x] I carry a purse.  – when I go out – it’s sort of mandatory
[x] I'd be lost without my computer. – hell flippin’ yeah
[ ] I own a Spice Girls CD.
[ ] I own a Britney Spears CD.
[ ] I own a boy band CD. – I presume that the Monks of Stift Heil… something do not pass off as a Boysband…
[ ] I get bored watching football.
[ ] I've never been called a spoiled brat.
[ ] Guys are confusing.


21. What color is your bra that your wearing?
Not wearing anything under my t shirt

22. Do you prefer light or dark haired guys/girls?
When I think I love blonds, I fall for the dark; when I think I love the dark I fall for the blond so I’ll go with redheads as a safe choice

23. Are you currently frustrated with a boy?
Nope

24. What's one thing guys can do to make you like them?
Look like dolls

25. Do you have a best friend?
yessers – he’s my strudel-nugget-love-pie

26. Have you ever had your heart broken?
too many times, starting at too young of an age

27. Have you ever thought of having plastic surgery?
Yes, to get rid of my breasts but I am living through – ignoring them most of the time it goes

28. Do you like your life?
I’m in the process of questioning that

29. WHERE DID YOU GO?
raised my head to watch Earl Bassett (Fred Ward) being dragged by a stubborn ostrich in Tremors 2

30. Has one of your friends ever stolen a boy/girlfriend from you?
Nope, I never was interested in real guys enough to have a declared official boyfriend

31. Have you ever jumped in the pool with your clothes on?
Nope – but I have jumped once and I blacked out and I had issues with water ever since

32. Do you have more friends that are girls or boys?
Guys totally number girls

33. How long have you had a Facebook?
Since college …. 2005-6 … O_O fucking hell that’s some years now….

34. Have you ever slapped a boy in the face?
Nope, but I nearly broke one’s nose by opening a door !

35. What are your biggest fears?
physical pain caused by penetration during sex

36. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
yes once or twice …

37. Have you ever not been able to get someone off of your mind?
Currently in the process of it. And past ones are still roaming around. Even if I was attached to them as a kid (Throttle (a Biker mouse from mars (from the animated series Biker Mice from Mars) , Rudiger (a kid Vampire from the TV series The Little Vampire, Nosedive (a hockey playing duck from the animated series Disney's Mighty Ducks), etc  etc -- no wonder I find humans desperately boring... )

38. Do you believe in the saying "once a cheater, always a cheater?"
I would need proof to change my mind but I am willing to have an open mind

39. Have you ever had a good feeling about something?
euhhhhhhhhh … buying dolls

40. Do you ever wish you were famous?
Maybe but – m’eh – don’t care much if I am not

41. Are you currently missing someone?
… not particularly

42. Cowboy or Gangster?
Cowboy! At least they ride horses and I love their tartan shirts - and they are honest hard working men, they have values and principles

43. Preppy or Punk?
Boring – but I guess gypsy or goth

44. Face or Body?
Face

45. Good cook or take you out a lot?
Good cook and I want to help out in the kitchen and talk and share and stuff

46. Sweet or sexy?
neither

47. Armani or Abercrombie?
fruit of the loom!

48. Contacts or glasses?
I prefer glasses – no way in hell I am poking a lens in my eyes

49. Have you ever had sex in RL?
yes – 5 different men – it all comes down to be boring … sorry but I will quote Andrew Eldritch on this – I want More! I want a deep connection – a spiritual something – a … beyond the body sort of thing

50. Have you ever thought you'd marry someone you dated?
nope! They never lasted more than 3 months so – haha – nope!

Thomas William Hiddleston

T.W.H

Thumping, my heart, thumping, it beats

Hollow dreams are built into concrete;

Once upon a fantasy, you abate my fears to obsolete,

My! My! – My pilgrim heart sings the forgotten duet

And there I am once again –

Savouring the sweet promise in your hand.



Will my heart hold your world?

I wish, I hope, I want to see you grow old.

Lie to me, my sweet prince, lie to me,

Long is the night and there is yet time to dally

In your eyes, you hold my hopes

And with your words you bond tight ropes

My heart is yours – dare I invite you to elope?



Hooked! – My heart dances in your grace

In your eyes I have found my place.

Dwindling down the rabbit hole,

Drowning into your perfect soul…

Look! There is my Wonderland

Eternally, my inspirations, I would amend

So as to better fulfill your heart's content

That lonely tomorrow is my only lament

One moment more!  Lost in your enchantment

Nabbing naïvely at your shooting star's end.

Love

Why is it considered fake or any less of a value if the feelings that burn you deep inside - making you actually want to be different from the being that you are - are directed towards an entity that cannot reflect and redirect those feelings back at you?

Why is love in a social definition something that has be to be shared by both parties, in knowledge and trusted shared common accord?

According to Merriam-Webster dictionary online :

Love as a noun is : 

strong affection for another arising out of kinshipan assurance of affection
warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion

Love as a verb is :

transitive verb

to hold dear : cherish 

to feel a lover's passion, devotion, or tenderness for

So if one feels ( transitive verb  to handle or touch in order to examine, test, or explore some quality / to perceive by a physical sensation coming from discrete end organs (as of the skin or muscles) love for another someone - no matter how close or far the receiving subject is, what is the value of the thoughts or feedback of people judging and criticizing this phenomenon that ones lives and feels and has in a most sincere and honest manner in the depths of themselves ? Why is the fact that the recipient of these feelings is somewhat physically or socially distant, why is this fact holding such a great value upon judging something as elusive as feelings ? 

I was chatting with a friend online, on MSN, tonight, and this came into topic. How the feeling of love cannot be true or real or acknowledged for someone who is not concretely reachable. And I ask - Why? Why cannot it be real - since the other one, the one judging - is not feeling the intensity and the depth of these feelings the same way the other party who holds and physically feels these abstract concepts in their very flesh and muscle (heart) ? 

I once saw in a documentary that the simple color red, for instance, is not an exact science, since as much as there are humans, there are that many possible ways of seeing the color red, even if you give the same exact shade to everyone. The way each every single individual's eyes and brains grasp and interpret the information is left to each individual - so in fact, Test Subject A does not see the color red as Test Subject B does! And this is something down to earth concrete and simple as vision - sight - something medically and scientifically proven. So, if this is such a complicated and not so matter of fact poured in concrete science, how can we even begin to mingle the topic if feelings and judge them ? 

Of course logic and common sense come into play - one might say, it is foolish and worthless, or a waste of time and energy - but if one would sit down and list all the activities humanity does which are strictly in the equation of survival completely useless and energy consuming, one couldn't argue much against wasting feelings. I will pick the Olympics for this. Do you need the Olympic games to live? No. You do not need need to break a record to be able to breath, eat, sleep and shit, and function as an individual in a society. You do not need, as a spectator, to see the achievements of this little minority in order to breath, eat, sleep and shit, and function as an individual in that same society. This is called a distraction, an entertainment.

So then - if one chooses to do an activity that is completely pointless for their surviving necessities, how can this one judge upon something as uncontrollable as feelings ? Even more so - the feeling of love - which strikes when the right combination of factors are met, and which factors can be fully acknowledged by the one "undergoing" or completely ignored. 


Luke buys tickets to watch a sports events.

Matthew falls in love with a woman on the other side of the planet.

Luke watches the game and feels happy and feeling a strong emotion towards the team, towards the game and cheers for them. 

Matthew somewhat interacts with that woman he knows he will never meet, and yet, is transported by her and has real feelings in his heart for her.

Luke will never shake hands with the players, or tell them they performed in a most outstanding way on the field and filled his heart with pride and joy.

Matthew will never hold that woman's hand, and tell she inspires him very real, deep, strong emotions which he has not felt for other women before.

How can one judge Matthew as being foolish and wasting his time ? He is transported and inspired the same way Luke is. In a different context and reacts towards a different medium - but both experience a strong feeling that cannot be catalogued or stripped into a proven mathematical or scientific formula, yet, they are very real in the core of their existence and effects upon both men.

Why Not Tonight

Actors -

Sabik - leather jacket, dark red t shirt, dark (black) jeans, leather belt, chains, studs, biker boots
Ellie - blue man's shirt, pale pink tank top, military print shorts, biker pink boots with studs

Location - bar, somewhere in the Nevada desert

Setting - post apocalyptic future - dusty/destroyed/post war ravaged

Intro - we see the smokey bar - the tv plays a country video without sound - someone puts a coin in the old Jukebox -- Reba McEntire - Why  Not Tonight

Camera moves to the bar where the barman pours a pint of beer, the two middle clients - Sab and Ellie -

All The Reasons I Love Tom Hiddleston

Because my last blogger entry went into the void of Cyberspace -I'll be a total bitch and unleash the uncensored version of this.

1 - He inspires me to try to act more womanly and thus accept my current female condition.
2 - Thanks to him, I understand why fruit flavoured condoms - or textured for that matter - were invented
3 - He is way to busy with his life to acknowledge my existence, thus I can happily fantasize over him without any guilt trip
4 - He looks like a doll - and I have a thing for dolls
5 - His fans can put him and his "career launching" role into the most delightfully entertaining fan art contexts - including homosexual, submission, bondage, neko (cat-man) and a couple others which totally electrify one's imagination
6 - I wouldn't giggle like a high school girl if he walked naked in front of me - I think that I would take his masculinity into a serious and natural context
7 - Oddly enough, I don't feel shy or bad or unease at the doggy style perspective - which I normally despise
8 - He passed the "sleeping test" with an A+
9 - Never met a man i want to kiss as bad as i am dying to try him
10 - What he inspired me and still does is just insanely strong! Like I said it in previous blogs, this guy is a fucking 40 meter high Rogue Wave
11 - Once I accepted all of the above, I'm serene and I actually don't regret nothing nor feel bad. Refer back to number 3 for this.
12 - He is the first man that actually inspired me an interest in his dick. Which is quite impressive.
13 - I am re-discovering things i have buried so deep inside of me, I had forgotten it was things I liked and was curious about
14 - When I think of sex fantasies with him, I'm not randomly pulled out by thoughts of women being abused or sold and sex being a negative thing - which is among the reasons why I quit on it; my choice to say to, in the name of all the women who can't.
15 - Depending on my hormonal rages - i can be either a female or a male with him and both feel very natural and normal. Other men are so straight and stuck in that figure - they are impossible to be imagined with another male figure, which cuts half the fun away.
16 - (reason posted on facebook - something along the lines of Tom waking me up like the Prince would wake up Briar Rose in Anne Rice's version of the Sleeping Beauty tale - which i have not read and won't before some time yet) 
17 - I love this man and yet I avoid him. Haven't seen the movie Thor - where I discovered him - more than 5 times - which is an epic low, considering I can watch a fave movie non stop during minimum 3 months or more, all day long - all week long! Haven't seen Avengers yet - not sure I want to ... Haven't seen Hollow Crown and have no intention of seeing it before some time too. Have seen the Deep Blue Sea once and deleted the movie file. Haven't seen any other movie or series in which he appears. Normally I would hunt them down and run them until i puke. Only downloaded him reading poetry and that novel - The Red Necklace and some exhibition thing he did for the museum about the Egyptians. Been avoiding Twitter, Tumblr.

18 - He is the first man who inspired me the uncontrollable urge to run away to a far remote deserted location with no human communication devices available or working so I would get him out of my brain and heart. 

A concise reference of my Fictions

Year 2006

A chat With
Fiction about me meeting Andrew Eldritch - singer of The Sisters of Mercy
PG-G

That night ... (first edition of "a chat with) 
Same as above - alternate version - 
PG-G

 Andras De Lunsnoir
Introduction of my werewolf character. Fantasy, dark fairy tale, mystery, love, life. 
PG-13

His Arrival
Original Character Andras. This is either a continuation or a prequel to Andras De Lunsnoir. 
PG-G

Deamon in the morning - I ; Cofee won't save you
Original character,dreams, slightly erotic, fantasy,
PG-13

Deamon in the morning - II ; Kisses in the kornfield 
Continuation to the link above
PG-13


Night Spy - The day after the rescue 
Original Characters and story about a team of spies doing nightly missions / allusions to bisexuality
PG-13

Night Spy - Debriefing
Second chapter to above link -

Night Spy - Getting Over the Damn Clothing
Third chapter to above links -

Further memo - Miss Taylor is actually a hermaphrodite - she is gifted with both female and male attributes - but that was not yet written. (I didn't have the courage back then to write that kind of intimate scene - even if i did fantasy about it a lot)

The Day I Became a Man
A female narrator tells her adventures as in a random turn of events, she woke up in a male body.
PG-G

The Day I Became a Man - 2 
Following chapter of above link

I am currently rewriting this one, updating it. Should be posted on wattpad some time soon.


Year 2007 

I need to loose some time
A random fiction based on a world I created - White Darkness - The Master is this over all dark and kind lord who has taken me into his care.

Mavourneen
Is basically the beginning of Sabik Mavourneen, a personal character and crush of mine. It is based on the Sabik Mecha Angel doll by DollSoom but in my mind he became his own individual. In this story, he plays the prostitute - gay magazines model. I am obviously the photographer. It is leading to eroticism, but it is not depicted.

Year 2008  




Gankutsuou YAOI fanfiction - I - Dance with me
Fan fiction of the animated series The Count of Monte Cristo as seen and revised by the Japanese team who made this masterpiece. Edmond Dantes, the Count of Monte Cristo, meets Albert, the son of his past love, Mercedes and falls in love with the boy. Gay romance.

I apologize for my crappy English of the past. I will re-write this, correct and update it ;)
Gankutsuou YAOI fanfiction - II - Kiss me
Gankutsuou YAOI fanfiction - III - Secrets in the dark 
Gankutsuou YAOI fanfiction - IV - Travel to Orient 
Gankutsuou YAOI fanfiction - V - White as Lilies, sweet as honey Gankutsuou YAOI fanfiction - VI - Hidden secrets revealed 


A New Queen Is
This was based on a dream - which is the beginning of the first chapter. In this bit the reader is introduced to the main characters and their basic stats
A New Queen Is 
Official first chapter of the story - we meet the queen
Harin's Travel
Second Chapter - we meet Harin and the 2 spies
Entering a New Kingdom
Harin and the 2 are travelling - secrets are shared
Finally Home
They are finally in the kingdom where most of the action takes place
Castle White
Harin meets Queen Aylie
So this is how...
First night Harin sleeps with Aramis - nothing happens though, but a kiss - they are not intimate yet
Private Meeting
The 2 spies describe their great concern to the queen and the dangerous threat it could cause
Something unthinkably blasphemous 
The threat exposed fully - concerns are arisen
Harin's New Family 
Ceremonials and official status being updated


Urgent Departure
Pretty much inspired by the illustrations shown at the bottom of the post - random fiction with Samael - my Captain character - mostly figh. This was the beginning of a fiction where the troups and I would create a love drug to get some easy pocket money outside of the mercenary contracts. Of course, Captain does not approve of us falling that low.Wolks are tall blue men (before Avatar and Frost Giants became popular for their skin colors, I had Wolks! ha !)


Random Fiction : Captain sends us to vacation The narrator is a detective in New York working on a fucked serial killer case.
Captain sends us to vacation - 2
Captain sends us to vacation - 3

I need to finish this one.  I know the plot and the outcome. I just need to finish writing it down.


Sabik Mavourneen - complete bio 
This was mostly for myself, with the earliest full details of my vision of him, his psychology, attitude


Wattpad

La mer
The first official story exclusively written for Sabik. It is in French though. We are both aboard the Poseidon, luxury boat; he is an electro musician and I am a camera woman - on a secret mission to film mermaids not knowing he is one himself.

L'auto-stoppeuse
A fiction starring Andras my werewolf as he retells his heart  breaking story with a Japanese student he had loved and who died in a bus accident. in French

Esclave du Plaisir
First finished short erotic novel. Homosexual oriented, with crude words and expressions. (Written when I was 17-19)

Morvan
Fiction dedicated to my character Henri Morvan, a tortured soul who after the tragic death of his father at sea rebells against it, becomes a priest, but falls into the temptation of a young Vietnamese girl, feels guilty,comes back home to become an old sea wolf as he calls himself before he would meet the woman of his life with whom he finally finds stability and balance. French.

Related chapters
La scène de la bibliothèque
Ellie has convinced Henri to pose for her, in the library of the house

Chose Promise, Chose Due
In exchange of the photoshoot, Henri has asked the right to "use her as he wishes" which mislead to Ellie thinking he wanted to have sex with her, but he had just set up a cuddling night watching Gone With the Wind in Breton language. Henri uses his high school actor talents to fool Ellie and play a prank on her.

Le Facteur
Continuation of above.This is actually how I exteriorized my anger to a Real Life event. An old flame of the main female character shows up at her doorstep just as she is officially settled in her relationship with Henri and it causes a great turmoil in her heart and mind.


Deputy Russel Clark
I had a mild crush on actor Joe Anderson in his role of Deputy Russel Clark from The Crazies, but I could never fully live out my attraction to him, because of his unspoken immaturity or lack of adult manhood ... this was sort of an alternate version of the movie/story


A Trip To Hell And Back
Real account of my hell trip vacation back to my hometown village in the summer of 2011


Le baiser du regard
French short story about a random kiss in the metro between the narrator and a goth boy - how ppl avoid contact, not looking each other in the eye, and he goes as far as that intimate act of getting closer to someone.


A Night With the Most Wanted Man
Fan fiction starring Tom Hiddleston and a female narrator. Erotic, poetic. First Act.

Guess Who
Second Act of the story linked above. Erotic and poetic

About the Harmony of Pain
Fan fiction starring Loki - the god of mischief and a female narrator. Erotic, gore, dark.